I could use some advice.

[Dobie]

My friend Ray practices Wicca and his wife is Christian (not quite sure how that can blend, but they seem to make it work). They have agreed that their children will be raised with a combination of both.

My issue is that the witchcraft makes me very uncomfortable. In the past, Ray has said he will say some sort of positive energy spell for me or make me some herbs to put under my pillow - I finally told him that I wasn't comfortable with it and we no longer discuss it.

When their 2 year old was born, they had a Wiccan naming ceremony on one weekend, then his baptism a month later. I only attended the baptism. They've just had a baby girl and are planning on combining the 2 this time. They will do the baptism, then have a get together immediately afterwards at their house for the naming ceremony.

Do you think it would be rude for me to attend the baptism and not the party afterwards? or possibly show up later, after the wiccan rituals. I don't know why it makes me feel so uncomfortable, but it really does - and I couldn't in good conscience be an active participant like they want everyone to do (Ray says they say some very postive chants that they ask people to repeat).

Any ideas how I can do this gracefully without insulting them?

[Janet]

Dobie, they already know how you feel, so I wouldn't worry too much about it. I would attend the baptism and then maybe go for a bite to eat (depending on time of day) and then go to their home after the naming ceremony. I would still take a lovely gift.

You wrote you don't know why it makes you feel uncomfortable, it could be a number of things, but I believe you're being spoken to. The problem with most of us is we don't listen.

Don't know if this is any good advice, but I know you'll do what you can feel comfortable with.

[Emmsmom]

I agree with Janet. You didn't attend the naming ceremony of their 2 year old so like Jnaet said they understand how you feel. I would go to the baptism and then go over after the naming ceremony.

I am glad they are able to make things work. It sure does seem like it would be hard. Just goes to prove that anything is possible.

[HALEY]

Dobie i agree with Janet also, take a wonderful gift to the baptism, make your appearance, say your congrats. and sneak on out of there.. That would make me feel uncomfortable to with the chanting and all, a little creapy for me, but it's what they believe in.

[Dobie]

Originally Posted by Janet

Dobie, they already know how you feel, so I wouldn't worry too much about it. I would attend the baptism and then maybe go for a bite to eat (depending on time of day) and then go to their home after the naming ceremony. I would still take a lovely gift.

You wrote you don't know why it makes you feel uncomfortable, it could be a number of things, but I believe you're being spoken to. The problem with most of us is we don't listen.

Don't know if this is any good advice, but I know you'll do what you can feel comfortable with.

It's good advice, I think I'll do that - there's a small shopping center near there home, I can do a little window shopping after the baptism then go back to the house later on. Thanks everyone - I think I needed someone else to tell me it was ok not to attend. The first time felt different because the ceremonies were on 2 seperate days.

[blowry]

I also agree with Janet...It would make me very uncomfortable also.

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by Dobie

It's good advice, I think I'll do that - there's a small shopping center near there home, I can do a little window shopping after the baptism then go back to the house later on. Thanks everyone - I think I needed someone else to tell me it was ok not to attend. The first time felt different because the ceremonies were on 2 seperate days.

I'm glad you figured it all out. I think I would do the same thing in that situation.

[DianaB]

I think that you've been given good advice. I wouldn't go if I felt uncomfortable with the ceremony either. I don't understand how the two religions get along because they are complete opposites.

[Lindsey]

Originally Posted by DianaB

I think that you've been given good advice. I wouldn't go if I felt uncomfortable with the ceremony either. I don't understand how the two religions get along because they are complete opposites.

I don't see how they are opposites... both religions believe in a god and that people are to do good for others. They both strive for forgiveness and peace. The one bigger difference is that Christianity puts men above women, and Wicca teaches that men and women are equal.
I don't want to start a big religious debate here or anything, I just like to keep an open mind about a lot of things. I've done a lot of research into a lot of different religions. There are a lot of things that give many religions a bad reputation, like Wicca is portrayed through tv and movies as evil witches who worship the devil, and how the Muslim religion has been attacked like crazy since the "war on terror" has begun.
I should probably keep my mouth shut but I really just wanted to speak up on this matter. I don't want anyone to get angry at me for it, but I just wanted to remind everyone to keep an open mind about things
And Dobie, I'm not saying that you should go. If it really makes you uncomfortable, you really don't have to! I think it would be a great idea to go to the baptism and then stop in again later.

I am so grateful to you for posting your original question and opening a discussion about the isse. It is a true breath of fresh air to see and to know that people can discuss this without prejudice and judgement!! THANK YOU!!

[Gina]

Originally Posted by Dobie

My friend Ray practices Wicca and his wife is Christian (not quite sure how that can blend, but they seem to make it work). They have agreed that their children will be raised with a combination of both.

My issue is that the witchcraft makes me very uncomfortable. In the past, Ray has said he will say some sort of positive energy spell for me or make me some herbs to put under my pillow - I finally told him that I wasn't comfortable with it and we no longer discuss it.

When their 2 year old was born, they had a Wiccan naming ceremony on one weekend, then his baptism a month later. I only attended the baptism. They've just had a baby girl and are planning on combining the 2 this time. They will do the baptism, then have a get together immediately afterwards at their house for the naming ceremony.

Do you think it would be rude for me to attend the baptism and not the party afterwards? or possibly show up later, after the wiccan rituals. I don't know why it makes me feel so uncomfortable, but it really does - and I couldn't in good conscience be an active participant like they want everyone to do (Ray says they say some very postive chants that they ask people to repeat).

Any ideas how I can do this gracefully without insulting them?

Getting back to the originial post.. Dobie you do what you feel is best and feel most comfortable with. Everyone has different thoughts on religions and their beliefs.. In this case it would be hypocritical to participant in something that you don't believe in and would make you feel uncomfortable.. IMO if you didn't have to particpant and just wanted to observe , that should be your choice... I think your friends should understand that you want to only attend the baptismal based on your beliefs..