To Have or To Not Have Kids

[Ponyup]

I will preface this with the fact that I'm a little freaked out right now. My husband & I are at the age & place in our marriage (6 years on sunday) where people are constantly asking this question. I know my mother would love a grand child, but she knows better than to push. Emotionally I want one. I love children & I know Jeremy & I would be great parents. However, rationally I just can't see bringing a child into our current society with the economic troubles, school shootings, wars....ect. I had pretty much decided I was going to go for it in a year or two, but circumstances recently changed. My dad's company that he started 18 years ago was recently sold to another larger company. Everything was going fine & pretty much the same, but lately news has been circulating that they are moving all corporate jobs to their headquarters in Wakegan, but they aren't offering any of our people these jobs. So they are going to lay off pretty much our entire finance & customer service department. As of yet my husband & I's jobs are not on the chopping block, but it could happen. My hubby & I are on the hunt for jobs. I've never done a resume or cover letter, so we'll see how well I do.

In this economic downturn it just made me think what would we do if we had kids. With is just being the two of us, we can get buy on pretty little & pick up & move if need be, but with kids things get trickier. I'm just thinking I guess. And wanted to know your thoughts on whether or not the country will rebound or if it'll continue to head south & would you have children in this atmosphere?

[DianaB]

It seems like there's never a "perfect" time to have children. Something always comes up to get in the way. Buy having children is one thing that you'll never regret. After you have them you'll wonder how you ever got along without them.

The only thing that I recommend is to make sure that you put a lot of time and energy into them. Most of the parents that you hear complain about their children are the ones who didn't take the time to love and discipline their children properly. Before I had children I heard other people complain about other family's children and decided that mine would not be ones that others complained about. I worked on discipline and manners and I always got the most wonderful compliments on my children. My husband even thought that I was too hard on them but admits now that I did a good job with them. I raised my kids to be someone that I enjoyed being with, not bothered by.

I have 4 children, from 33 years to 16 years and I have 5 grandchildren. I started by getting pregnant in high school and now at 51 I still have my last daughter at home, at least for a couple more years. I wouldn't change anything and I absolutely love having grandchildren!!!!!! (Sorry that this is long!!)

[Janet]

I couldn't say it any better than Diana, there will never be the 'perfect' time. I wouldn't trade my time being a mother for anything in the world. I love being with my son and it's like Diana said...it's because I learned from others mistakes and I spent the time and energy it took. One of my mottos was that I will be his friend when he is an adult, until then I'm his mother with a job I take very seriously..

[Dobie]

I'm not sure how old you are, but the decision to put off having kids until the time is "right" can have consequences. I'd hate to see anyone else in my position, unable to have kids and having a lifetime of regrets.
You and your husband need to sit down, think about all the possibilitites - and make the choice that is right for you, don't let other peoples needs and wants cloud your decision.

[jrsygal37]

There is really never a right time. Society will alway have problems, finances may not always be right but once your child comes it all seems to work out. Hubby and I adopted our two boys. When we were given the opportunity to adopt our first my husband asked me "Do you want the house first or the baby first." Adoption was expensive and our savings for our home was used to bring out baby home all $50,000 of it. Am I sorry. NEVER. We lived in an apartment / more like a condo with our son and guess what two years later we brough our second son home and still no home. We made do with the room we had and about a year after that we bought our home. We are living in it now for the past almost 13 years. My little babies are now not babies anymore. My oldest is going to be 15 yrs. old and my youngest turned 12 this past April. Our economy is terrible, gas is high, food is high, and my teen son's wardrobe is leaving me broke but I would not change any of it. In fact I look back and wish they were still young, wish I could have had just one more baby. It wasn't in the cards. Don't wait until the world is better. Sadly it won't happen. Don't wait for a better economy. There will always be problems. Go with your heart and if your heart is ready for a baby then the time is right. If you aren't ready yourself then that's a different story. Elaine

[pope1982]

Pony, I just wanted to offer my support in saying, I know exactly what you are going through. We go through the same thing daily!

Good luck in your decision making, what will be will be Try not to drive yourself too nuts during your free spirited time if having children is in your future. Take it easy.