Time For Separate Rooms

[Janet]

If I can get the nerve up...it's time to talk again about separate rooms. I couldn't fall asleep last night because of the snoring and then I woke up between 3:30 anad 4 this morning because of the snoring. I wake up so angry everyday and I'm tired of it. It's either separate rooms or separate houses. I just don't feel I can take it much longer. I'm tired of being angry and I'm tired of being tired. Wintertime is bad enough for me, but with a lack of sleep it will make it even worse. I'm calling the phone company on Monday and see what it takes to move the internet cable to our room and then I'm going to try my best to get him moved to where the computer is now.

I know this sounds awful, but I need some sleep and really not that much..just 7-8 hours...preferable 8, but I just can't survive and function on 3-5 hours each night. I am so tired of being a b*t**.

[Lindsey]

Does your husband know how bad his snoring is? Has he tried nose strips or anything to control it? I had a boyfriend once who would snore so loud he would wake HIMSELF up! I couldn't get any sleep even just being in the same house as him overnight. Are there no other options? A friend of mine was looking into surgery to have her snoring corrected, but I guess surgery is pretty expensive in the US.

[Janet]

Lindsey, he has tried the strips and the sprays and a few other odds and ends, but doesn't like them so he makes me miserable instead. Some of the things (strips and a spray) actually worked pretty good...not all the time, but good. He just won't use them. I've even reminded him, put them on his nightstand and he just won't.

I just feel now it's time to do something about it. I know of quite a few other couples that have separate rooms for the same reason. They 'come together' when they want to, but have a good nights sleep separately. I feel sometimes like I could lose my mind.

He looks at it as rejection I think...it's not that (totally)..I just want my much needed uninterruupted sleep.

[gja1000]

Janet,
You really do need to sleep in separate rooms, and yes, I can understand why he might see it as rejection. But that is just him being a "man" LOL! For some reason, men just don't get it. Hmmmm.... that didn't come out right. LOL! But you know what I mean!

I have friends who got married a few years ago, third marriage for her, second for him. They slept together one week - and then moved into separate rooms. They said in order to live together, then needed to sleep separately. It just makes sense.

My hubby has various health problems including very severe restless leg syndrome. Sometimes he has to sleep with the head of the bed elevated a lot, in order to breathe. We spent several thousands of dollars on a tempurpedic bed with split twin king mattresses with adjustable bed frames that work separately. Thus, he can raise up the head of his bed, and I can lie flat. Also, with the tempurpedic mattress and the split mattresses, I cannot feel his restless legs (he takes meds which greatly help, but do not completely stop it). Anyway, it's more difficult for me to snuggle up to him or visa versa (with all his health problems, snuggling is the max ) - so sometimes he pouts, but he and I both know that we both sleep better. WE LOVE OUR BED.

Unfortunately, your hubby won't perceive the separate rooms as HIM sleeping better, but if he can just get past the rejection nonsense, it will be so much better for you.

[Janet]

Originally Posted by gja1000

Janet,
You really do need to sleep in separate rooms, and yes, I can understand why he might see it as rejection. But that is just him being a "man" LOL! For some reason, men just don't get it. Hmmmm.... that didn't come out right. LOL! But you know what I mean!

I have friends who got married a few years ago, third marriage for her, second for him. They slept together one week - and then moved into separate rooms. They said in order to live together, then needed to sleep separately. It just makes sense.

My hubby has various health problems including very severe restless leg syndrome. Sometimes he has to sleep with the head of the bed elevated a lot, in order to breathe. We spent several thousands of dollars on a tempurpedic bed with split twin king mattresses with adjustable bed frames that work separately. Thus, he can raise up the head of his bed, and I can lie flat. Also, with the tempurpedic mattress and the split mattresses, I cannot feel his restless legs (he takes meds which greatly help, but do not completely stop it). Anyway, it's more difficult for me to snuggle up to him or visa versa (with all his health problems, snuggling is the max ) - so sometimes he pouts, but he and I both know that we both sleep better. WE LOVE OUR BED.

Unfortunately, your hubby won't perceive the separate rooms as HIM sleeping better, but if he can just get past the rejection nonsense, it will be so much better for you.

Thanks Gayle..I appreciate your opinion so much. I tried to tell him it must be something that runs in the family because both sets of grandparents slept in separate rooms because of the snoring. They stayed married a long, long time...until their passing. One of these days, he'll come home and find I've moved him to another room and he'll just have to live with it. I just can't continue like this with his snoring. It has nothing to do with anything else. When he has a night that he doesn't snore....we both sleep just fine and restful.

[jrsygal37]

Janet has your husband tried a bipap machine. I know what you mean because I went through this with my husband. I wanted to kill him. It turned out he has a sleep apnea and he would actually stop breathing then come up snoring. It's very dangerous. Have him checked by a sleep center or sleep doctor. Elaine

[Nina]

My husband also snores (LOUDLY), so I understand! I'd love to have my own room. I sometimes have to get up and go in another room because it keeps me awake. It even bothers the dogs lol

[Janet]

I didn't realize that we have a couple friends that sleep in separate rooms because of snoring. I am finding out that it is much more common than I thought.

[Marilyn]

Janet, hubby has even built a home with two master bedrooms so the couple could each have their own very nice bedrooms and bathrooms. I saw something on the news a while back about it becoming more and more common. Often couples work different schedules and do not wish to bother each other in the morning. There can be many reasons for a couple to decide on separate bedrooms. It does not indicate that there is any problem with the marriage.

[Janet]

That is another good reason too. I am a little tired of getting things ready in the dark. I mean I take most everything to the bathroom where I can have light, but as usual, lol, I'll forget something.