Any suggestions for the newly divorced

Our daughter's husband notified her by email that he had moved out while she was teaching at the elementary school.

She is devastated after 16 years of marriage and a darling little boy.

She feels unattractive, rejected, alone, sad and overwhelmed.

Have any of you been through this and how did you find a light at the end of the tunnel????

Yep about 4 years ago and just one day at a time. If you want the full scoop send me a pm and i'll tell you what I went through.

[Mandy]

He notified her by email?? That's aweful!!

My cousin has gone through a divorce just recently, it's very very difficult, and yes they feel rejected, sad, angry, humiliated, lonely, i stood by her and worked through this with her. She said, it's like grieving. She cried buckets over this man, and they wanted to work through this divorce "peacefully" but that was impossible for her. She loved him so much, yet he left her for another woman.

[Gina]

Originally Posted by okiegal

Our daughter's husband notified her by email that he had moved out while she was teaching at the elementary school.

She is devastated after 16 years of marriage and a darling little boy.

She feels unattractive, rejected, alone, sad and overwhelmed.

Have any of you been through this and how did you find a light at the end of the tunnel????

I am sorry to hear about your daughter one thing I can say is that after 16 yrs. of marriage he is really a B***** to notify her through email. I am sorry but he sounds like a real coward. I am not divorced but I have many friends and family members who are . It is like a death she has to go through the process, which is denial, grievance and then acceptance. Just be there for her and maybe you can get her some therapy it would help. Time is the healer of all.. Good luck!

And last but not least ..give her lots of love and support and encourage that she doesnt isolate herself ,your love is within you ..it is in truth who you are not who gets it .And time and grief work are in the process of any divorce .Best of luck to you all and take the higher road always ..it is the one that leads to inner Peace.

[Chandra Amaya]

I think the best thing she could have is caring family and friends. I have been through something similar although I was not married for nearly as long. My first husband choose drugs over me and the first three kids. My exboyfriend ... We lived together for five years and had what i thought to be the perfect relationship until he moved his new GF in and I was homless with three kids. I did something for me after both. Something I wanted but would not spend the money on. I got my navel pierced after my first husband moved out and got my tongue peirced after my ex bf. I have neither peircing now but it made me feel good. i loved it then. Maybe she could be encouraged to do something for herself or go on a trip with just her and her son. Go out with some friends. Anything to keep her from locking herself away inside the house and feeling bad.

[Kimberley]

Been down that road. She needs to allow herself time to heal. It will get worse before it gets better. Trust me when I say that one morning, she'll wake up and realize that she is a good person and he's the one that lost out. Be there for her when she cries, screams and appreciate when she wants to be alone.

Going through a divorce is like someone you loving dies. It's a healing process.

I was the one who left my ex, so I cant really relate to your daughter, but from my opinion, I would suggest to her to take this time and get to know herself again, do all the things she wants to do before she jumps back into another relationship. Dont go running to another man to make her feel better, she needs to heal before she starts dating again.

does she know why he left her? was it another woman?

I'm sorry this has happened to your daughter, make sure you are there for her, right now is when she needs you and all her g/griends the most.
and then her son, he may feel it's his fault, he really is going to need a lot of his family there for him right now.

by email? what a coward..

sorry i cant say i know about this subject, other than take 1 day at a time and support her through this

[blowry]

Been there! It was me that wanted to divorce though. It did not involve another man...After 19 yrs and 2 beautiful daughters later I decided to end the marriage. I actually was divorced from the heart for about 10 yrs and stayed because of my girls. Even though this was something I had to do, it was the worst thing I had gone through in my life.. (X is an abusive alcoholic). Because nobody saw the way I was treated (not saying entire marriage was bad) I was blamed for everything, my family would not talk to me...I felt very alone. I exercised ALOT, lost 67 lbs, actually obsessed with it to the point where I became bolemic (sp?) It took me quite a while to get over the fact that I was single again. I HATED dating again...very scary...I started dating about 6 months after the seperation. Met someone and now have been married for 7 yrs (in Nov). My new husband is 5 yrs younger than me, never been married, only child and never had children. We have had some difficult days because of this but, manage to get through. I hope all goes well for your daughter and her children. It's not easy but, with the support and love from her family and friends, she will get through it.

[hle_625]

Ive never been through it but just wanted to let you know that she will be in my thoughts and prayers!

I sent her your emails and appreciate all your ideas......yes I do believe there is another woman....but time will tell.


It feels like a death....but I have faith that she will one day emerge from her grief and build a new and better life.


God bless you all.