Rant!

[gja1000]

There was a post over on YT about a dog that stays out all the time, is never cared for and yet lives on and on. The poster had lost her Yorkie whom she had pampered and taken excellent care of, yet when he got sick, he died.

I have the same feelings about my husband's multiple illnesses. I try not to think about it, but every so often it pops up.

Everyday, sometimes for years, I see the same homeless people on the street, and often if they get any money, they buy cigarettes and beer.

My husband didn't smoke, drink or do drugs. He was never overweight. He worked as a carpenter, building houses, so he got plenty of exercise. Yet, he has heart failure, has had a heart attack, open heart surgery, kidney failure, diabetes (he has to take insulin), asthma - his lung function is 33% of normal. He wouldn't last two days on the street, yet there are those who abuse their body and soul in so many ways, and they continue to live on and on. My sweet hubby just has bad genes, I know that, but it sucks!

I'm not bitter - but it isn't fair. I know, I know, life isn't fair - I understand that. But dammit! It should be (j/k). It just makes me take a heavy sigh from time to time and tonight is one of those times.

[Blueyes]

When I say that I know how you feel...I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL! I really think it's fine to have these thoughts and feelings from time to time. The truth is..it just stinks.

Is Gary having an extra hard time?

[gja1000]

Yes, he's not doing well at all right now and no one seems to know why. It seems to be his lungs that are causing him to be so short of breath and unable to do much of anything. He has the best pulmonary doc in Austin caring for him and he doesn't know why Gary's lungs continue to deteriorate. It's very puzzling. Anyway, it's a fine night for a pity party!

And yes Betsi! I KNOW you understand completely!!! Thanks for being here.

[Blueyes]

Yep..it's a FINE night for a pity party! It's just so maddening when even the best docs don't have a clue. It's so hard to watch the people we love suffer and be afraid. Then when my mind starts on the "what ifs".... it's hard to know what to do with all of that anger and fear... and you can't really share that with the person that's sick because he's got enough to worry about.

I'm so sorry you and Gary are having such a bad time right now. I always say to myself "this too shall pass", but my heart really screams...WHAT IF IT DOESN'T????? I know how your gut feels right now Gayle, and all I can say is that I love you.

[Marilyn]

Oh, Gayle, it's so truly sad that you both are going through this. We've had difficult times health wise, but not anywhere to the extent of what you are dealing with. It must be horribly frustrating. We are here any time you want to rant. Rant on and on if you need to.

It's wonderful that you had such a nice vacation together, and pray that the doctor will find something that with bring on some improvement very soon.

Love you!!!!

[DianaB]

Gayle, there are so many things in life that aren't fair. You go ahead and rant away. You certainly have a right to question the fairness in Gary's illness. I'm here for you any time you need a friend. Gary and you are in my prayers. Hugs to you both.