Marriage

[RLC12345678]

Is marriage an outdated institution? Is co-habitation replacing the institution of marriage, and will this affect the security and stability of children?

Many social scientists and indeed many tabloids claim that marriage is arguably losing its appeal. With divorce ever on the rise – with statistics showing one out of every three marriages end in divorce, the institution of marriage as a religious and legal bond may be considered outdated in today’s society. Co-habitation is no longer unacceptable, indeed it is commonplace among the youth of today, and illegitimacy no longer carries such a social stigma. But is a stable family environment dependent on a marital bond – or more appropriately, if not dependent is it improved? What do you think??

[Janet]

Wow....was that deep!!! I think marriage is the best, I don't know why. Maybe because whenever I speak with older people, they believe so strongly in the institution of marriage and the emotions are so "catching" from them. Makes you believe in so much more, all the trials and tribulations, they went through, the world wars, the depression and it just gives me this strong desire to want to try harder at all things. After all they've gone through and you see them look at each other with so much love, and it's a different kind of love than what you see with the younger people today, I think it's the "real" committment. It just melts my heart....

[RLC12345678]

Originally Posted by Janet

Wow....was that deep!!! I think marriage is the best, I don't know why. Maybe because whenever I speak with older people, they believe so strongly in the institution of marriage and the emotions are so "catching" from them. Makes you believe in so much more, all the trials and tribulations, they went through, the world wars, the depression and it just gives me this strong desire to want to try harder at all things. After all they've gone through and you see them look at each other with so much love, and it's a different kind of love than what you see with the younger people today, I think it's the "real" committment. It just melts my heart....

I completely agree. My grandparents have been married for 56 years. Even now, there are some days I can tell that they really just don't like each other. But you know what...they're still married. And I feel like my mom and her siblings and us grandchildren are better off for it. It really gives me the hope that no matter what my marriage faces, I have made a commitment and I am not giving up on it just because one day I wake up and think that I don't love this person anymore. My grandmother has always told me that love is a choice, not a feeling.

[Gina]

Originally Posted by RLC12345678

Is marriage an outdated institution? Is co-habitation replacing the institution of marriage, and will this affect the security and stability of children?

Many social scientists and indeed many tabloids claim that marriage is arguably losing its appeal. With divorce ever on the rise – with statistics showing one out of every three marriages end in divorce, the institution of marriage as a religious and legal bond may be considered outdated in today’s society. Co-habitation is no longer unacceptable, indeed it is commonplace among the youth of today, and illegitimacy no longer carries such a social stigma. But is a stable family environment dependent on a marital bond – or more appropriately, if not dependent is it improved? What do you think??

Wow I do agree with Janet as this being deep. My personal opionion and thats all it is.. I do see marriages deteriorating around me after many years. I feel that this marriage vow is no longer taken serious. When you marry young , love is usually the cause and over the years you have to both work on it to keep it thriving. Today it is different many women no longer stay they are far more independent as far as their careers. As Janet mentioned older people stayed no matter what. Partly was because women were inferior as to going out and supporting themselves. Plus they sacrafice their happiness to raise their chilldren in a two parent home.

Rebecca you brought up a very good thread, The grass always seems greener on the other side but in truth its not. I do believe and I tell this to my children all the time, its very important to get a good education. I feel its best to marry a little later on , for when you marry early 20's, you don't know what you will feel when one day you wake up and your 40. Feelings do change.I tell them to go out and experience life, and when you are ready to have children settle down.. I think a loving family regardless if the parents are divorced are an important factor in stability.I see many children who stem from divorce are well adjusted. They need to feel love from both parents regardless and to interact with both.

[Janet]

Originally Posted by Gina

Wow I do agree with Janet as this being deep. My personal opionion and thats all it is.. I do see marriages deteriorating around me after many years. I feel that this marriage vow is no longer taken serious. When you marry young , love is usually the cause and over the years you have to both work on it to keep it thriving. Today it is different many women no longer stay they are far more independent as far as their careers. As Janet mentioned older people stayed no matter what. Partly was because women were inferior as to going out and supporting themselves. Plus they sacrafice their happiness to raise their chilldren in a two parent home.

Rebecca you brought up a very good thread, The grass always seems greener on the other side but in truth its not. I do believe and I tell this to my children all the time, its very important to get a good education. I feel its best to marry a little later on , for when you marry early 20's, you don't know what you will feel when one day you wake up and your 40. Feelings do change.I tell them to go out and experience life, and when you are ready to have children settle down.. I think a loving family regardless if the parents are divorced are an important factor in stability.I see many children who stem from divorce are well adjusted. They need to feel love from both parents regardless and to interact with both.

Excellent post Gina...I agree!

[BabyNicole]

Well, I'll write from my experience. I believe in living together before getting married. I did that, and was engaged. We lived together for about 6 months, and then he changed his mind!!! I was DEVASTED!!! But, you know what? I'm glad he got a taste of what it was like to live with me LOLOL. I would rather not get married, then have to get a quick divorce. And I'm so glad he called off the wedding, because the person he is today, I don't like! God works in misterious ways, and everything happens for the best.

[DianaB]

I think that with divorces so easy to get that we tend to go into marriages with the idea that "if it doesn't work out then I'll get a divorce". People don't seem to take marriage as seriously as they did a long time ago. I think that it's important to "know" what a person wants and likes and how they react in different situations BEFORE you get married.

Even in a good marriage you have days, and even weeks, that you really don't like your spouse, but you have to know that you're in it for the long haul. I have a great marriage, but we still have had our rocky spots. We never mentioned the "D" word because we knew that for better or worse we're sticking it out.

Does a marriage, or lack of one, affect children? Yes! Children that come from a stable marriage, with few problems, feel much more stable with their life. They have a solid base for their lives with a Mom and a Dad who is there for them. They feel safe and secure.

I know that any time we've had an argument in front of the kids I've found out later about how worried they were. I left the house once following an argument and my daughter was worried that I wasn't coming home. It wasn't even a bad argument but in her eyes it was. When my older children were little they informed me which parent they were going to live with if we got a divorce. They were getting prepared because their friends at school were going through this with their parents and they figured it was going to happen to them too. Isn't that sad?

My husband works with a group of children from church that for the most part are from divorced, single parent, or step-parent homes and you can tell that there is a difference between them and kids from homes with both original parents.

In my daughter's class at school there are very few kids that still live with both of their parents. You can't tell me that this isn't affecting our children and our society.

Just to briefly touch on co-habitation.....I don't think that it's any better than getting married and divorced. It's just easier to get out of than divorce, no ties! I'm sorry if I have offended some, but this is my opinion. Sorry.

Sorry, I have such a hard time giving short answers.

[BabyNicole]

Originally Posted by DianaB

I think that with divorces so easy to get that we tend to go into marriages with the idea that "if it doesn't work out then I'll get a divorce". People don't seem to take marriage as seriously as they did a long time ago. I think that it's important to "know" what a person wants and likes and how they react in different situations BEFORE you get married.

Even in a good marriage you have days, and even weeks, that you really don't like your spouse, but you have to know that you're in it for the long haul. I have a great marriage, but we still have had our rocky spots. We never mentioned the "D" word because we knew that for better or worse we're sticking it out.

Does a marriage, or lack of one, affect children? Yes! Children that come from a stable marriage, with few problems, feel much more stable with their life. They have a solid base for their lives with a Mom and a Dad who is there for them. They feel safe and secure.

I know that any time we've had an argument in front of the kids I've found out later about how worried they were. I left the house once following an argument and my daughter was worried that I wasn't coming home. It wasn't even a bad argument but in her eyes it was. When my older children were little they informed me which parent they were going to live with if we got a divorce. They were getting prepared because their friends at school were going through this with their parents and they figured it was going to happen to them too. Isn't that sad?

My husband works with a group of children from church that for the most part are from divorced, single parent, or step-parent homes and you can tell that there is a difference between them and kids from homes with both original parents.

In my daughter's class at school there are very few kids that still live with both of their parents. You can't tell me that this isn't affecting our children and our society.

Just to briefly touch on co-habitation.....I don't think that it's any better than getting married and divorced. It's just easier to get out of than divorce, no ties! I'm sorry if I have offended some, but this is my opinion. Sorry.

Sorry, I have such a hard time giving short answers.

You've got a point. It sure as heck wasn't easy on me!!! Easier for him to get out, yes, but not easy on the heart.