what in the world????!

so as most of you already know... i was having a confusing issue with my bf phil. well as im getting up the nerve (aka two glasses of wine) to sit down and have the "where are we going" talk. he BLOWS up. and not about anything to do with us and our future.

he starts by calling me lazy b/c i sleep in 15 minutes later than him and he has to take oscar outside. this is something that he brags about to everyone as in " im sucha sweet boyfriend that i take my gf's dog outside in the morning for her". and today he starts yelling about how lazy it is to sleep in until i have to get up????? im never late for work or anything... i guess he wants me to wake up at the crack of dawn and cook a 5 course breakfast?????

and then he starts yelling at me for missing work last week when my grandfather was in the hospital. first of all... you cant yell at me for that. and second of all i asked his permission and received it! at this point i just started bawling..and i NEVER cry.

then.. he starts yelling about how im the laziest person b/c i like to get 8 hours of sleep! <---- dont even know what that is???! he even had the nerve to say " you never do anything...anytime"

yes i am the girl that cooks, cleans, laundry, his bills, takes his car to the shop, fills out all his tax paperwork... and i work for him and do EVERYTHING! he shows up and thats it!... i was crushed when he said this!

so i say what about all of your clothes, food, etc? and he proceeds to say "you dont do a very good job...and i could do it better anyways"

all i could get out ...was hysterical crying and i havent spoken to him about it since. im so floored that i dont know what to do.... he is never like this... i guess he holds everything in... maybe he doesnt like me at all... kind of like the book that yall had me read.... this really sucks. just thought id get my feelings out to someone! thanks for listening!

[Willow]

Omigosh sweetie! I am at a loss as to what to say! I think you just got your answer though without having to ask it. I would say, he is very unappreciative and that you don't need to be with someone who is going to criticize you like that.

[Lindsey]

Maybe something happened to him and he just took it out on you... although I would be weary of someone who does that. Has he had outbursts before?

[Gina]

Originally Posted by tumblnstar

so as most of you already know... i was having a confusing issue with my bf phil. well as im getting up the nerve (aka two glasses of wine) to sit down and have the "where are we going" talk. he BLOWS up. and not about anything to do with us and our future.

he starts by calling me lazy b/c i sleep in 15 minutes later than him and he has to take oscar outside. this is something that he brags about to everyone as in " im sucha sweet boyfriend that i take my gf's dog outside in the morning for her". and today he starts yelling about how lazy it is to sleep in until i have to get up????? im never late for work or anything... i guess he wants me to wake up at the crack of dawn and cook a 5 course breakfast?????

and then he starts yelling at me for missing work last week when my grandfather was in the hospital. first of all... you cant yell at me for that. and second of all i asked his permission and received it! at this point i just started bawling..and i NEVER cry.

then.. he starts yelling about how im the laziest person b/c i like to get 8 hours of sleep! <---- dont even know what that is???! he even had the nerve to say " you never do anything...anytime"

yes i am the girl that cooks, cleans, laundry, his bills, takes his car to the shop, fills out all his tax paperwork... and i work for him and do EVERYTHING! he shows up and thats it!... i was crushed when he said this!

so i say what about all of your clothes, food, etc? and he proceeds to say "you dont do a very good job...and i could do it better anyways"

all i could get out ...was hysterical crying and i havent spoken to him about it since. im so floored that i dont know what to do.... he is never like this... i guess he holds everything in... maybe he doesnt like me at all... kind of like the book that yall had me read.... this really sucks. just thought id get my feelings out to someone! thanks for listening!

RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN.. In all seriousness why are you putting up with this? Read your last threads and the answers you received. Honey you need to really think this relationship through, Men do not change ...Don't expect him to change if you do marry him... You will have to change to conform to pleasing him.. Think about that...

[khardy57]

Run while you can! If he's like that now, it's only going to get worse. I can't imagine having any kind of relationship with someone who feels that way about me. Even if he was upset about something completely unrelated to your relatioship, he took it out on YOU! Do you really want that for the rest of your life?

[Mandy]

Oh girl, what are you doing? RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!! Don't allow ANY man to pull you down like that, you can get and deserve MUCH better!
Obviously he does not appreciate what you do for him, he should shame himself.
Men don't change girl, and we can't change anyone... as someone said above, you will have to change to fit he's needs if you want this to work. And honestly, you don't even want to go there!!

And honestly, i think you know the answer after you read that book

Good luck, we are here for you!

[Ponyup]

From the sound of it, he's trying to get you to break up with him. He's obviously not ready to get married. His behavior is not very mature & very poor communication not good traits in a marriage. He either knew you were going to have the talk & thought I'll make her not wanna marry me or he's trying to push you away so you will break up with him (so he's not the bad guy). Either way not good husband or boyfriend material. You are very young you will find someone better that wants to love you, marry you, appreciate the things you do for him, & do things for you. Don't settle for this guy.

[Janet]

I just don't know what else to say except I'm so sorry you're going through this.

The good thing is.....YOU DON'T HAVE TO!

All of the advice these wonderful ladies have given you, should be taken to heart. You need to find a better, loving, nurturing relationship. Don't ever settle...there's always more to be found.