help... i have a nightmare coming in 2 weeks

ok... well if you dont know.. im mary.. my bf is phil.. and we live in apartments right beside each other..with an adjoining door. these apartments are small.. im talking you open the door and are in the 6x8 kitchen that goes right into the small living room (which is cute though with a fireplace and then theres a bathroom and a bedroom... so theres not alot of room... enough..but not alot. why am i telling you this? b/c phil has informed me that his ENTIRE family is coming to stay the weekend for thanksgiving... and im cooking!!!!!!!!!

ok i love to cook and i think that im great at it..all my friends love my food... the problem is... his family is from the upper penisula of michigan.. so we are talking the most yankee you can get ... and im from the south... alabama...theres a difference. a big one...im trying to plan a menu that will stay true to what i love about thanksgiving and something that they wont stare at and not eat.

dont get me wrong.. i love his family... they are just NOT like im used to . VERY outspoken about everything... and i honestly have to put up my shield to be around them. they always love to talk about how much they hate the south...and southerners..how much they hate cheerleaders (yeh... get the picture.. they basically hate who i am entirely)...how much they hate blonde girls... and how much they think short people look funny... lol but they LOOOOVE me... so they say. you know i really dont mind all that...

but i am STRESSING out and the thought of having to cook for an entire weekend for these people... finding places for people to sleep!! im going to have to spend a fortune on air matresses... and entertainment!<--these people never just sit and hang out... they have to do something all the time.

im trying to work as many hours as i can so that i can get the things that i need to make our apartments look good... before i just made do with what i had... but to his family...you have to make everything look just so so .. im soooo nervous about my undecorated apartment. and im trying to figure out sleeping arrangements for the pregnant women and grandmother and two college aged sisters who are (ahem bratty and my poor little sister who is coming to stay will probably be out on the deck!

does anyone else have to do this crap?? what in the world do u do with a family that basically hates everything and everyone?

[RLC12345678]

Hey! What part of Alabama are you from??? I'm an Alabamian born and raised So, sorry I can't help you out with the food part.

As far as decorating your apt. I would not worry about it too much. Seriously, they should understand that you are young and young people usually don't have immaculate apartments, you know? And as far as everything else, I hope you aren't doing it alone and that Phil is helping you. This is HIS family, you know?? It should not be ALL on YOUR shoulders to entertain them and find places for all them to sleep. I DEFINATELY think it should be Phil's responsibility to buy air mattresses and such for HIS family. That is SO nice for you to cook for all of them...but cooking for that many people is expensive. You should not worry about spending MORE money decorating your apartment and buying air mattresses for HIS family. You are so much more kind than me.

I think you and Phil should set aside a couple of nights a week to sit down and get everything down on paper as to what you are going to cook, sleeping arrangements, entertainment, etc. Since it is HIS family, he should have a pretty good idea of what his family likes to eat, what they like to do, what their expectations are as far as sleeping arrangements, etc. Who knows....maybe his family isn't even expecting that much.

Considering your past situations with Phil, I think this would be an excellent opportunity to open up the lines of communication. Please DO NOT take all of this upon yourself. This is PHIL's family and he needs to be doing MOST of the work that will be involved with HIS family coming to visit. You have already volunteered to cook the whole Thanksgiving dinner. That is more than I would do! Best of luck! Let us know what you decide and how it turns out!

phil is no help! he is just as nervous as i am! i guess his family is alot more critical and uptight than mine. hes going around trying to decorate his apartment and buy furniture....and we basically share money so this will be coming out of both of our pockets i guess...hes trying to help me "practice" cooking the dishes... but he runs around with his head cut off looking for attractions and all this stuff to do and im like... geez...these people are going to drive us nuts!!!!!! honestly i just want to get in my car and drive away when they get here.

[RLC12345678]

Ok, this is what I would do....you and Phil need to sit down together with pen and paper and the internet, in an organized fashion, and jot down ideas....meal ideas (www.allrecipes.com is an excellent resource), look on the internet for entertainment ideas (movies are always a good choice), sleeping arrangements, etc. It will be much easier that way. Be organized about it. Get Phil to call his mother or siblings and ask them what they are going to want to eat and what they are going to want to do while they are visitng. Who knows.......they may just want to relax!!!!!!!!!! I think communication between you and Phil and Phil and HIS family is going to be key.

the bad thing about his family is they say one thing "oh hunny i dont care what we eat" and they mean "i want this this, and this" and when you serve them "that that and that" they look at you like... "what in the world were you thinking???" its gonna be ghetto enough b/c im going to have to put my dining table(which is in storage) in my living room in place of my couch lol ... i guess what phil's family thinks is reaaalllly important to him... so its now become obsessive to me!!! we really do need to just sit down.. and plan it all...its just going to be hell .

[RLC12345678]

Hey, where in Alabama are you from?

[DianaB]

I think that you should work out a menu with them and have them bring pies, sweets, snacks, and pop with them. Maybe have them bring a crock pot or two to help you have enough places to warm stuff up or you could use them to make a big pot of soup with left-overs. Ask them if they have any family favorites that you could make, but go ahead and make a few of your own family favorites. It's not fair to ask one person (in a small apartment and going to school) to fix a huge lunch for a lot of other people and not offer to help by bringing food and such.

Also, make sure that they know to bring their own bedding. Pillows, blankets, air beds, etc because all you have are two beds which will go to_____(maybe his Mom and Dad and Grandmother in other bed) Let them know that THEY need to come prepared or possibly might want to check into a motel.

Spread the work out. Don't try to do it all yourself. And don't be afraid to ask for help with the cooking OR the clean up!!! Don't panic and have fun!!

My Aunts,Uncles, and Cousins get together every 2 years for Thanksgiving and you know that you are expected to bring something. For those who live close by they bring hot dishes and those who live far away bring pies and things that will travel well. Then we all chip in money to help the hostess pay for everything that she's bought. We know to bring bedding because you may not have a bed but be on the floor. All the women go shopping the day after Thanksgiving and the guys go to some pawn shops or whatever. The kids hang out and play hide and go seek in the dark (they loved it)

If you need any help with any thing, besides my physical presence, just let me know.

Originally Posted by DianaB

I think that you should work out a menu with them and have them bring pies, sweets, snacks, and pop with them. Maybe have them bring a crock pot or two to help you have enough places to warm stuff up or you could use them to make a big pot of soup with left-overs. Ask them if they have any family favorites that you could make, but go ahead and make a few of your own family favorites. It's not fair to ask one person (in a small apartment and going to school) to fix a huge lunch for a lot of other people and not offer to help by bringing food and such.

Also, make sure that they know to bring their own bedding. Pillows, blankets, air beds, etc because all you have are two beds which will go to_____(maybe his Mom and Dad and Grandmother in other bed) Let them know that THEY need to come prepared or possibly might want to check into a motel.

Spread the work out. Don't try to do it all yourself. And don't be afraid to ask for help with the cooking OR the clean up!!! Don't panic and have fun!!

My Aunts,Uncles, and Cousins get together every 2 years for Thanksgiving and you know that you are expected to bring something. For those who live close by they bring hot dishes and those who live far away bring pies and things that will travel well. Then we all chip in money to help the hostess pay for everything that she's bought. We know to bring bedding because you may not have a bed but be on the floor. All the women go shopping the day after Thanksgiving and the guys go to some pawn shops or whatever. The kids hang out and play hide and go seek in the dark (they loved it)

If you need any help with any thing, besides my physical presence, just let me know.

thanks so much! i might have a meltdown .. you never know lol i called my grandmother to send me a set of sheets. so thats one down... does anyone know where to get cheap air matresses... lol maybe next year they will bring their own. i already suggested the motel thing...and that was shot down real fast... they dont want to drive/pay/blah blah blah. everyone keeps talking about how relaxing its going to be for them b.c im cooking/cleaning/etc. they are calling it "their vacation"... when i hear them say that on the phone to phil... he just looks at me and mouths"im soooooo sorry" lol hopefully the both of us will be able to get it done and over with.

[Ponyup]

I would help with dinner ideas, I'm a northern indiana yankee. However, I think Yuppers (upper Pennisula people) are closer to canadians, so I would PM Lindsey (i think she's from Canada) & see if she has any ideas.

Originally Posted by Ponyup

I would help with dinner ideas, I'm a northern indiana yankee. However, I think Yuppers (upper Pennisula people) are closer to canadians, so I would PM Lindsey (i think she's from Canada) & see if she has any ideas.

oh yeh... UP'ers are a different breed... i love it up there though... its different but beautiful. his family really is great... when they are in their own element and running the show... i hate to talk bad about them... its just really going to be a feat to make this thanksgiving a good one!

[RLC12345678]

Originally Posted by DianaB

I think that you should work out a menu with them and have them bring pies, sweets, snacks, and pop with them. Maybe have them bring a crock pot or two to help you have enough places to warm stuff up or you could use them to make a big pot of soup with left-overs. Ask them if they have any family favorites that you could make, but go ahead and make a few of your own family favorites. It's not fair to ask one person (in a small apartment and going to school) to fix a huge lunch for a lot of other people and not offer to help by bringing food and such.

Also, make sure that they know to bring their own bedding. Pillows, blankets, air beds, etc because all you have are two beds which will go to_____(maybe his Mom and Dad and Grandmother in other bed) Let them know that THEY need to come prepared or possibly might want to check into a motel.

Spread the work out. Don't try to do it all yourself. And don't be afraid to ask for help with the cooking OR the clean up!!! Don't panic and have fun!!

My Aunts,Uncles, and Cousins get together every 2 years for Thanksgiving and you know that you are expected to bring something. For those who live close by they bring hot dishes and those who live far away bring pies and things that will travel well. Then we all chip in money to help the hostess pay for everything that she's bought. We know to bring bedding because you may not have a bed but be on the floor. All the women go shopping the day after Thanksgiving and the guys go to some pawn shops or whatever. The kids hang out and play hide and go seek in the dark (they loved it)

If you need any help with any thing, besides my physical presence, just let me know.

I COMPLETELY agree!!!!!!!!!! I say you call his mother and yall work out arrangements for EVERYTHING. You SHOULD NOT have to do all this stuff by yourself, nor should you have to bear all the expense. Call his mother and yall work out a menu TOGETHER and then ask her to tell everyone in the family to bring pillows, blankets, etc.

[khardy57]

Originally Posted by DianaB

I think that you should work out a menu with them and have them bring pies, sweets, snacks, and pop with them. Maybe have them bring a crock pot or two to help you have enough places to warm stuff up or you could use them to make a big pot of soup with left-overs. Ask them if they have any family favorites that you could make, but go ahead and make a few of your own family favorites. It's not fair to ask one person (in a small apartment and going to school) to fix a huge lunch for a lot of other people and not offer to help by bringing food and such.

Also, make sure that they know to bring their own bedding. Pillows, blankets, air beds, etc because all you have are two beds which will go to_____(maybe his Mom and Dad and Grandmother in other bed) Let them know that THEY need to come prepared or possibly might want to check into a motel.

Spread the work out. Don't try to do it all yourself. And don't be afraid to ask for help with the cooking OR the clean up!!! Don't panic and have fun!!

My Aunts,Uncles, and Cousins get together every 2 years for Thanksgiving and you know that you are expected to bring something. For those who live close by they bring hot dishes and those who live far away bring pies and things that will travel well. Then we all chip in money to help the hostess pay for everything that she's bought. We know to bring bedding because you may not have a bed but be on the floor. All the women go shopping the day after Thanksgiving and the guys go to some pawn shops or whatever. The kids hang out and play hide and go seek in the dark (they loved it)

If you need any help with any thing, besides my physical presence, just let me know.

Great words of advice!