How forgiving are you?

Kimberley · 09-07-2006, 06:59 PM

If you found out your significant other was having an affair, would you forgive him/her?

My FIL cheated on his wife bringing home a couple of STDs that were curable. MIL forgave him COMPLETELY...even though he treats her like crap.

Would you be as forgiving?

I don't know that I could. But, with having 2 kids and being already divorced once, I think that I would be able to look past it.....

09-07-2006, 07:04 PM

I don't ever want to get divorced, but I do have a cheat or beat clause. If my significant other did either, I would leave without thinking twice. I think that trust is the most important thing in a marriage and if I did not trust some one, I couldn't stay.

The funny thing is, most people are probably good at forgiving, it's the forgetting that is hard. I would probably make the other persons life miserable if I stayed. I would always think that he was still cheating on me.

I don't ever want to be in this situation, but if I was, I would walk.

magnolia · 09-07-2006, 07:16 PM

Like Shannon, I've never been in that situation so not sure what I would do. I know I love him and I have forgiven him for many, many things - just as he's forgiven me - but not for this. I honestly don't know what I would do - and hope to never have to find out. But it is a good question Kimberly.

09-07-2006, 07:29 PM

My hubby cheated on me on the same day I got our marriage license! I was 7 months pregnant and we were living together at the time....he told me the very next day what he had done (he was drunk when he erred) and he felt so bad about what he had done. I told him to carry his sorry no good ass but we ended up getting married anyway. It hurt more than anything and it's been 8 years and I've just now gotten to where I can think about it without wanting to kill him. He went to Iraq for over a year and I told him that I trusted him but if he did cheat on me not to ever tell me about it and he said since he did it once if I ever wanted to be with somebody I could cheat on him twice to make up for it. As for the fil bringing home std's your mil is SO lucky she didn't end up with herpes, or even worse AIDs. That part I could never forgive and I would value my life more than having a man in my life that treated me like s***. My ex step-dad cheated on my mom and brought home an std and she literally beat the s*** out of him and the girl he got it from and kicked him out to the curb even though they had been together for almost twenty years. He treated her bad too and cheated on her all the time and she it wasn't worth being treated like that for the rest of her life and she took care of herself before she met him and she can take better care of herself after he's gone. so good luck to your mil and IMO she needs to kick him in his nads and stick her other foot up his ass....sorry for the foul language when i get upset i cuss.

Kimberley · 09-07-2006, 07:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ice queen

My hubby cheated on me on the same day I got our marriage license! I was 7 months pregnant and we were living together at the time....he told me the very next day what he had done (he was drunk when he erred) and he felt so bad about what he had done. I told him to carry his sorry no good ass but we ended up getting married anyway. It hurt more than anything and it's been 8 years and I've just now gotten to where I can think about it without wanting to kill him. He went to Iraq for over a year and I told him that I trusted him but if he did cheat on me not to ever tell me about it and he said since he did it once if I ever wanted to be with somebody I could cheat on him twice to make up for it. As for the fil bringing home std's your mil is SO lucky she didn't end up with herpes, or even worse AIDs. That part I could never forgive and I would value my life more than having a man in my life that treated me like s***. My ex step-dad cheated on my mom and brought home an std and she literally beat the s*** out of him and the girl he got it from and kicked him out to the curb even though they had been together for almost twenty years. He treated her bad too and cheated on her all the time and she it wasn't worth being treated like that for the rest of her life and she took care of herself before she met him and she can take better care of herself after he's gone. so good luck to your mil and IMO she needs to kick him in his nads and stick her other foot up his ass....sorry for the foul language when i get upset i cuss.

HAHA! I hear ya with the language part. I totally agree! They've been married over 35 years and if he says jump, she jumps...literally. It sickens me...that's why I don't go over there much anymore.

Amber_lv · 09-07-2006, 08:12 PM

I personally have never had this happen but if my husband was to ever cheat on me it would be over my biggest fear would be for him to bring home an STD like aids and then what would my poor children do if we both died from his stupidity? To me that is unforgivable it makes me sick when women forgive these low life good for nothing pieces of sh@t it just gives them permission to keep doing it. I don't want to offend anyone by saying that but it's the truth to the woman who said she told her husband not to tell her if he did it again what would you do if he brought you home something deadly and you didn't even know till it was to late for you? I'm not in your situation and i don't want to offend you but you kinda gave him a license to cheat on you like what you don't know won't hurt you but it possibly could. Like the woman who are beat and abused they say he was sorry he didn't mean to and he'll never do it again but they always do and look how many end up dead from it. I'm sorry it's just a touchy subject for me my aunt was beaten by her husband for years and he raped her when he wanted sex she was in denial for years until he threw he out for a stripper ,he met at the bar. My sister also had a very controlling boyfriend and he hit her to and i threatened that POS within an inch of his life if he ever touched her again. We finally conviced her to leave him and she is married to a wonderful man now but she is scarred from her experience. I have had several friends that have been cheated on and i had one friend who was pregnant as her husband was cheating on her for the umpteenth time and he gave her an STD as well. We as women need to stand up for ourselves and show that we will not tolerate any of this behavior!!!! Sorry i will get off my soap box now i really hope i haven't offended anyone.

hle_625 · 09-08-2006, 07:03 AM

I honestly dont know what I would do if my hubby cheated on me! I dont think I could ever leave him, Ive been with him since I was 15 and I love him more than anything in this world! I know I would be extremely hurt but I honestly dont know if I could leave him for it! I think it would make for an extremely hard marriage but I cant imagine my life without him

09-08-2006, 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hle_625

I honestly dont know what I would do if my hubby cheated on me! I dont think I could ever leave him, Ive been with him since I was 15 and I love him more than anything in this world! I know I would be extremely hurt but I honestly dont know if I could leave him for it! I think it would make for an extremely hard marriage but I cant imagine my life without him

i feel the same way.. i've been with him since i was 14.. and have gone through SO much with him.. he's my rock my bestfriend my everything.. i'd be SO extremely hurt if my boyfriend ever cheated on me..

but i do believe that he would end it with me instead of cheating on me... hes a great man

09-08-2006, 11:57 PM

girl what you doing up this late???

09-09-2006, 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ice queen

girl what you doing up this late???

lol it was only midnight where i was

My daughter and I were waiting for my BF to come home from work to pick us up at my parents house since we stay there during the night while hes at work...

i had just finished watching Veronica Mars the complete season 1 lol

09-09-2006, 02:09 PM

i've watched a few of those shows they are pretty cool....but between hubby wanting to watch the nerd channels (discovery channel or history channel) and the kids fighting over cartoon network...poor little mommy doesn't get to watch to much...although they know when the closer and sex in the city come on they better get out my face...haha!!!

khardy57 · 09-10-2006, 01:41 PM

My first husband will tell you that I don't forgive, I get even! When I divorced him I didn't leave him a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out. I fully believe that the first time a man cheats is the hardest time. That's when he has to deal with his conscience. After that, it's all downhill.

09-07-2006, 06:59 PM	#1
Kimberley Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: The Lone Star State Posts: 671	How forgiving are you? If you found out your significant other was having an affair, would you forgive him/her? My FIL cheated on his wife bringing home a couple of STDs that were curable. MIL forgave him COMPLETELY...even though he treats her like crap. Would you be as forgiving? I don't know that I could. But, with having 2 kids and being already divorced once, I think that I would be able to look past it.....

09-07-2006, 07:16 PM	#3
magnolia Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Mississippi Posts: 482	Like Shannon, I've never been in that situation so not sure what I would do. I know I love him and I have forgiven him for many, many things - just as he's forgiven me - but not for this. I honestly don't know what I would do - and hope to never have to find out. But it is a good question Kimberly. __________________ Suzi "Wrinkles will only go where the smiles have been"....Jimmy Buffett

09-07-2006, 08:12 PM	#6
Amber_lv Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Salt Lake Posts: 983	I personally have never had this happen but if my husband was to ever cheat on me it would be over my biggest fear would be for him to bring home an STD like aids and then what would my poor children do if we both died from his stupidity? To me that is unforgivable it makes me sick when women forgive these low life good for nothing pieces of sh@t it just gives them permission to keep doing it. I don't want to offend anyone by saying that but it's the truth to the woman who said she told her husband not to tell her if he did it again what would you do if he brought you home something deadly and you didn't even know till it was to late for you? I'm not in your situation and i don't want to offend you but you kinda gave him a license to cheat on you like what you don't know won't hurt you but it possibly could. Like the woman who are beat and abused they say he was sorry he didn't mean to and he'll never do it again but they always do and look how many end up dead from it. I'm sorry it's just a touchy subject for me my aunt was beaten by her husband for years and he raped her when he wanted sex she was in denial for years until he threw he out for a stripper ,he met at the bar. My sister also had a very controlling boyfriend and he hit her to and i threatened that POS within an inch of his life if he ever touched her again. We finally conviced her to leave him and she is married to a wonderful man now but she is scarred from her experience. I have had several friends that have been cheated on and i had one friend who was pregnant as her husband was cheating on her for the umpteenth time and he gave her an STD as well. We as women need to stand up for ourselves and show that we will not tolerate any of this behavior!!!! Sorry i will get off my soap box now i really hope i haven't offended anyone. __________________ Peeka-Boo-Daisy-Designs for all your doggy clothing needs Peeka's Myspace Daisy's Myspace

09-08-2006, 07:03 AM	#7
hle_625 *Moderator* Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Neosho, Missouri Posts: 204	I honestly dont know what I would do if my hubby cheated on me! I dont think I could ever leave him, Ive been with him since I was 15 and I love him more than anything in this world! I know I would be extremely hurt but I honestly dont know if I could leave him for it! I think it would make for an extremely hard marriage but I cant imagine my life without him __________________ Heather

09-08-2006, 11:57 PM	#9
ice queen Guest Posts: n/a	khristine girl what you doing up this late???

09-07-2006, 07:04 PM	#2
Shannon Guest Posts: n/a	I don't ever want to get divorced, but I do have a cheat or beat clause. If my significant other did either, I would leave without thinking twice. I think that trust is the most important thing in a marriage and if I did not trust some one, I couldn't stay. The funny thing is, most people are probably good at forgiving, it's the forgetting that is hard. I would probably make the other persons life miserable if I stayed. I would always think that he was still cheating on me. I don't ever want to be in this situation, but if I was, I would walk.

09-07-2006, 07:29 PM	#4
ice queen Guest Posts: n/a	My hubby cheated on me on the same day I got our marriage license! I was 7 months pregnant and we were living together at the time....he told me the very next day what he had done (he was drunk when he erred) and he felt so bad about what he had done. I told him to carry his sorry no good ass but we ended up getting married anyway. It hurt more than anything and it's been 8 years and I've just now gotten to where I can think about it without wanting to kill him. He went to Iraq for over a year and I told him that I trusted him but if he did cheat on me not to ever tell me about it and he said since he did it once if I ever wanted to be with somebody I could cheat on him twice to make up for it. As for the fil bringing home std's your mil is SO lucky she didn't end up with herpes, or even worse AIDs. That part I could never forgive and I would value my life more than having a man in my life that treated me like s*. My ex step-dad cheated on my mom and brought home an std and she literally beat the s* out of him and the girl he got it from and kicked him out to the curb even though they had been together for almost twenty years. He treated her bad too and cheated on her all the time and she it wasn't worth being treated like that for the rest of her life and she took care of herself before she met him and she can take better care of herself after he's gone. so good luck to your mil and IMO she needs to kick him in his nads and stick her other foot up his ass....sorry for the foul language when i get upset i cuss.

09-09-2006, 02:09 PM	#11
ice queen Guest Posts: n/a	i've watched a few of those shows they are pretty cool....but between hubby wanting to watch the nerd channels (discovery channel or history channel) and the kids fighting over cartoon network...poor little mommy doesn't get to watch to much...although they know when the closer and sex in the city come on they better get out my face...haha!!!

09-10-2006, 01:41 PM	#12
khardy57 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 278	My first husband will tell you that I don't forgive, I get even! When I divorced him I didn't leave him a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out. I fully believe that the first time a man cheats is the hardest time. That's when he has to deal with his conscience. After that, it's all downhill.

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