Children's Thoughts On Older Relatives

[Janet]

So many of you have little ones or grandchildren so I thought you'd like this.....



Children's thoughts on older relatives

1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her

young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick

and started to leave, the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet

paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about

kissing the toilet paper good-bye....


2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me

how old I was, and I told him, 62. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he

asked, "Did you start at 1?"



3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a

droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more

and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her

head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As

she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was

THAT?"



4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was

like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung

from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the

woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish

I'd gotten to know you sooner!"


5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you

and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we

alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.


6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She

told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she

replied. "I can't read."


7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test

her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and

was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the

door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these colors

yourself!"


8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off

until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed

us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the

mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."


9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not
sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised "Mine says I'm 4 to 6."


10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma,

guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a

little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting." she said. "How do you

make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."


11. Children's Logic:

"Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy

wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad

aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said

the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child."


12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a

fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.

The children started discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back,"

said one child. "No," said another. "He's just for good luck." A third child brought the

argument to a close."They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."


13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the

airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her

visit, we take her back to the airport."


14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don't get

to see him enough to get as smart as him!


15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over, you hear gas leaks and they

blame their dog.

[DianaB]

Those were good!!! Especially number 3!!!

[judy]

I just love these !