Was I too harsh?

[Tink]

I am married to a man who doesn't like to pick out gifts for me. He rarely buys me a Christmas or birthday gift, and if he does it's a last minute thing out of desperation. So when he announced last weekend that he was planning to buy his (female) dispatcher a Christmas gift, I told him "That's fine, but if you get her something and not me, your balls will be bulging out your ears."

I WOULD be angry and hurt if he did this, but he wasn't too thrilled with my response either. So how would you have reacted in my position?

[khardy57]

LOL that's a good one. I always told mine when he came up with something goofy that if he kept on I'd just be wearing furry earrings!

[blowry]

Originally Posted by Tink

I am married to a man who doesn't like to pick out gifts for me. He rarely buys me a Christmas or birthday gift, and if he does it's a last minute thing out of desperation. So when he announced last weekend that he was planning to buy his (female) dispatcher a Christmas gift, I told him "That's fine, but if you get her something and not me, your balls will be bulging out your ears."

I WOULD be angry and hurt if he did this, but he wasn't too thrilled with my response either. So how would you have reacted in my position?

Eric likes to buy me things...he bought me a pandora charm bracelet last year and has been surprising me with charms...last night (was our 7 yr anniversary, this is my second marriage) he surprised me with a ring that I have wanted.

However, if he DIDN'T choose to buy me things and was going to buy for another woman, even if she IS his dispatcher.....well....lets just say I agree with the bulging balls and the ears!!!

[Janet]

I don't think you were too harsh at all. Since he has trouble in the gift giving department...why not print out pictures of what you want and where to buy it, so he doesn't have to guess? That way, if you print out a lot of pictures....you'll get what you want, but be surpised in what one he actually gets for you?

[Brooke]

My husband doesn't always buy me gifts...on my birthday last year I got a lap top!!! This year nothing! It is so weird how he will one year and not another...If he even thought about buying for a coworker and not for me I would really question WHY!!! My antenna would be straight up in the air like a skunks tail!!!!! You were not too harsh!

[DianaB]

No, I don't think that you were too harsh and I love your response!!!!!

[Mandy]

Ahahohhhh..... nonononono you were not at all too harsh!!!!! I would question my husband if he was buying a gift for another woman, if he finds it so difficult to find something for me .... and he would have to cough up the answer FAST!!!!

[RLC12345678]

I don't think you were too harsh either. If he brings it up again, I would tell him that be better put as much, if not MORE, thought into a present for YOU as he is putting into HER present. I would be pissed, too!

[Marilyn]

Oh, I would be extreeeeemly upset. My response would have been different, but just as firm. He had better have a very good, believable reason as to why he's buying her a gift and why he thought of her when you've been forgotten over the years. Your gift this year had better be a very good one, with some thought behind it.

[Emmsmom]

I would have responded the same way. I get so sick of that crap. They treat their co-workers with more respect than they do their wives! I don't blame you one bit!
I hope he got the picture!

[Tink]

Thanks all.
Dispatchers aren't always treated very nice by the guys they schedule. This particular one had turned in her resignation and a bunch of the drivers went in and told her how bad they felt that she was leaving, so she ended up deciding to stay on. She HAS been good to them and treats them with respect which is sadly missing in a lot of those situations. A nasty dispatcher can make a drivers job hell... so they DO appreciate her efforts.

I am not worried about hubby being "involved" with her, but it does piss me off that he would do for her what he doesn't do for me.

MEN! I do think he got the picture... so he'd better do well this year.

[red98vett]

I LOVE your response - nice and to the point LOL -

On the gift - I think it's great he wants to show her his appreciation - that in itself is a sign of a thoughtful man - and maybe YOU can shop with him and sort of pick out YOUR gift that you'd like - you can't go wrong there right ??

My husband used to shop for me all the time for no reason at all, I'd come home from work to a bottle of perfume or shoes etc - BUT - when it came to birthdays and Christmas - he never felt he needed to buy anything special

I Miss the things he used to be able to do and sometimes just want to go buy something and wrap it so there's a gift - but then I remember I have everything I need and know if he COULD he would -

I'm thinking your husband may think along those lines YES ???

[Janet]

I've thought some more on your post and came up with: You could always go with him to pick her out something, or volunteer to pick it out yourself. That way you won't have to worry about how much thought he put into her gift.

[Kimberley]

I don't think you were too harsh! But your response cracked me up. I hope that he gets the hint!