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Old 01-08-2007, 04:41 PM   #1
Janet
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It's Been A Rough Day!

At 10:30 this morning my sister-in-law called to say my MIL wasn't doing very well in the nursing home. I told her I would meet her there. On my way, she called me again and said that Hospice had been called in. I knew this couldn't be good.

When I got there, my MIL was not able to breath very well. She has cancer and is also on oxygen. She kept crying and trying to scream that she didn't feel good. She can't hardly scream at all, because she is so weak.

I tried to comfort her as best I could until my sister-in-law could arrive. She told me to tell all the kids that she loved them and that she thought she was going to die. She didn't know from one minute to the next that I was there and the same thing, when my sister-in-law arrived. She would try to talk and say things that made sense and the next few words would be so far from sense, you wonder how she came up with it.

Her stomach and chest are swelling, because of the fluid build up and it really is just a matter of time. At least we think...... They called us in twice a year and a half ago thinking she wasn't going to make it, but she totally surprised us all. She recovered so well and enough that we have been able to bring her to our house for the last two Thanksgiving Dinners.

This time....we're not so sure. She is afraid....and afraid of dying. I am so sad for her. She has truely has been a great mother-in-law all these years and I don't want her to suffer anymore.

I guess what I am asking is that you pray for my Mother-in-law. That IF it is her time to go, that her fears will vanish and that she will not suffer or be in pain. I know what a great group of ladies we have here and the power of prayer. So if you could do that for me....I would really appreciate it. This is so hard, but while I'm asking.....could you please say a prayer for me too, I really feel I need it.
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Old 01-08-2007, 05:51 PM   #2
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I'll be praying for your MIL and you and your family. You might want to consider having your pastor come and visit with her. She might not be feeling secure about where she'll be spending eternity and a pastor will know the right words to say to her. If you're not comfortable with what he's said to her then find another pastor or friend that's good at dealing with people who are on their deathbed. My family will be lifting you all up in prayer. Keep us posted on how she's doing.
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Old 01-08-2007, 05:59 PM   #3
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Janet, Diana is giving good advice. We will definitely remember you and your family in our prayers. This is a tough time that we must all go through. We will be thinking of you.
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Old 01-08-2007, 06:12 PM   #4
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My prayers are with you both.
HUGS
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Old 01-09-2007, 02:49 PM   #5
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Janet i am sorry you are going through this. I will be thinking and praying for your family.
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Old 01-09-2007, 04:10 PM   #6
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I went to the nursing home this evening to see my MIL. She hasn't been awake at all today. She is just slowly declining and filling up with fluids. It's really hard to tell how long she'll be with us, only God know that, but it really doesn't look like it will be very long.

She looked so helpless lying there. She had no idea we were there. This is so sad....and heartbreaking. She is not in any pain...
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Old 01-09-2007, 04:13 PM   #7
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Janet, I'm so sorry. You and your family have been on my mind and in my prayers all day.
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Old 01-09-2007, 04:16 PM   #8
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Thanks Diana, I appreciate it! It's not that we want to let her go, but why does it have to be like this and just let us watch her go slowly? I guess it's not ours to question...I'm sure there is a lesson here somewhere.
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Old 01-09-2007, 06:22 PM   #9
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Janet, I know it's got to be hard to watch her like she is, yet if she was afraid and struggling, it's easier for her to not know what's going on now.
I'll keep you both in my prayers.
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Old 01-09-2007, 06:43 PM   #10
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God bless you and your family, Janet. It's so sad to see someone you love in such bad shape. It sounds like she's been a wonderful influence in your life and someone you've been truly close to. I pray that God will give her peace of mind.

Has a pastor visited her? If not, even though she may not be conscious, I think it would be good for her. I believe that people are aware even if they can't respond.

Kim
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Old 01-09-2007, 06:49 PM   #11
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Janet I am sorry to hear about your MIL, I will keep her and your family in my prayers. Take care, and be strong , watching someone you love suffer is very hard.
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Old 01-09-2007, 07:48 PM   #12
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So Sorry to hear this janet. it is upsetting that she isn't ready to go. I will be praying for her to have peace. I'll also be praying for you and your family. God Bless.
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Old 01-10-2007, 08:47 AM   #13
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As of this morning....she still hasn't eaten since yesterday. We all have been giving her a little water, by putting our thumbs over the top of the straw and by swobbing out her mouth to keep it moist.

She did open her eyes enough to know her son David was there (he came yesterday from Atlanta, GA) and that's about it. She's too week to lift her eye lids let alone any other part of her body. They upped her morphine, because she was starting to moan because of pain.

Hopefully we'll all be with her when the time comes....God willing.
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Old 01-10-2007, 01:39 PM   #14
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Somehow I missed this thread until now ?? Sorry for my delay in posting. Janet, I am so sorry you are going through this difficult time. Recently going through what sounds like the same exact thing, I truly feel for you.

From what I can tell about you, I can see that you have laid this all in God's hands. I hope you find comfort in knowing many thoughts are sent your way.
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Old 01-10-2007, 01:46 PM   #15
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Thanks Sheryl It is tough, but I know it is not in our hands, so I have faith that God will take away her fears and pain. She'll be in a much better place than what she is in now in this condition. Even though we know her death is inevitable and we're trying to prepare ourselves, it still hurts. None of us like to see our loved ones in this condition. We will be there for her till the end....she doesn't know this...... but I'm sure God will tell her everything when she arrives in heaven.
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