Divorce after 2 years?! :(

[AngieDoogles]

My hubby was at the mall tonight and ran into an old friend of his (who is an acquaintance of mine) and he found out that she is getting a divorce after only 2 years. I was so sad! They never really struck me as the "perfect" couple and they didn't seem to have ANYTHING in common, but I just never expected someone I know to get divorced after such a short marriage. I guess it's better that they are getting divorced now before there are kids and things get really complicated, but still...it's sad!

We are going to have her over and try to cheer her up. Any ideas or advice? Thanks in advance...I just don't know what to say or do to help...

[Janet]

I probably wouldn't say a whole lot...just listen. She doesn't need judgements or bad mouthing her soon-to-be ex. Let her do that.....they just may get back together someday...who knows

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by Janet

I probably wouldn't say a whole lot...just listen. She doesn't need judgements or bad mouthing her soon-to-be ex. Let her do that.....they just may get back together someday...who knows

I couldn't do that. I know her husband, I used to work with him. I doubt they will get back together. They have so little in common and it seems like it was a bad break up.

[Chandra Amaya]

Janet is right the best thing you can do is listen. Make her laugh. Maybe invite her out somewhere with you guys & rent or bring a movie in case she doesn't feel like going out. if you can, maybe bring her a "relaxation kit" (Bubble bath, lotion, candles, anything like that). Encourage her to concentrate on herself now she deserves it.

[rivermom]

That is too bad about the ending of their marriage. This sort of situation can be uncomfortable for many.

With her invite, make some snacky foods and lemonade or something. Food is ALWAYS a great distraction during those "moments of akwardnes". As others said, just listen. Be positive in conversation and just keep the chat simple or whatever.

If your energy is happy and positive surely it will be felt by your friend. Maybe give her a greeting card to let her know you will be there if she ever needs an ear.

[Mandy]

Its very sweet of you to invite her over, and letting her know you are there for her. That on its own is a huge comfort for her. Best to just listen, and let her do the talking.

[RLC12345678]

Hubby and I were friends with 2 couples who divorced after LESS than 2 years of marriage. I found with these 2, the LAST thing they wanted to do was TALK. They wanted to go out, have fun, meet new people, and not even so much as THINK about their ex. It took quite some time (months and months) before they wanted to talk about it. If it were me, I would not want to go to a friends house and "talk" about my divorce. Maybe you could plan a fun day for you two...like go to lunch and then go to the movies or have a girls night on the town. I would not even bring up the divorce or her ex unless your friend brought it up first and wanted to talk about it. ESPECIALLY since she knows that you know and are somewhat friends with her EX, I would not even bring his name up.

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by RLC12345678

Hubby and I were friends with 2 couples who divorced after LESS than 2 years of marriage. I found with these 2, the LAST thing they wanted to do was TALK. They wanted to go out, have fun, meet new people, and not even so much as THINK about their ex. It took quite some time (months and months) before they wanted to talk about it. If it were me, I would not want to go to a friends house and "talk" about my divorce. Maybe you could plan a fun day for you two...like go to lunch and then go to the movies or have a girls night on the town. I would not even bring up the divorce or her ex unless your friend brought it up first and wanted to talk about it. ESPECIALLY since she knows that you know and are somewhat friends with her EX, I would not even bring his name up.

Thanks Rebecca! I'm never good at bringing up uncomfortable topics anyway. I prefer to let the other person bring it up if they want to talk about it, so that was kind of my plan. Maybe we'll just have a girl's night out or something to get her mind off of the situation. She seems to be having such a hard time...

But wow, 2 couples that were divorced after less than two years?! That's so sad! Hopefully everyone is doing better now and maybe a little wiser...

[RLC12345678]

I know these couples because the men are in medical school with my husband. Medical school is SO HARD. It really puts a HUGE strain on a marriage. Unfortunately, it never surprises me when someone in my hubby's class announces they are getting a divorce.

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by RLC12345678

I know these couples because the men are in medical school with my husband. Medical school is SO HARD. It really puts a HUGE strain on a marriage. Unfortunately, it never surprises me when someone in my hubby's class announces they are getting a divorce.

Aww, that's SO sad! I'm sure being a med student and being married is just not a very good combination for most people. Both require so much time and attention. I just wish they could've gotten through that point and maybe things would've been better after graduation...

[Mandy]

Years ago a friend of mine got married, they didnt make a match at all. Her mother gave them 6 months, she said they wouldnt last longer, well they laster 9 months.