Husband May Have Surgery!!

[Janet]

My husband has been having back trouble for quite some time. About 5 years ago, he went to a Dr. (our family Dr. recommended) and my husband was so afraid to have surgery, so the Dr. just gave him some exercises to do. It helped for a while, but as with most of us, when it stops hurting, we stop the exercises too.

Anyway, he went to the Dr. Friday and had x-rays taken. It shows in his lower back that the discs are bone on bone. He will be having an MRI done on the 26th and then an appt. on the 28th to discuss the MRI. The Dr. told him (like the first Dr. 5 years ago) that surgery is probably what will need to happen, but to not worry about it just yet. To wait till the results of the MRI. Well, my husband is scared to death, but he is so tired of the pain. It not only hurts in his back, but into his legs now. He says no matter how scared he is, he is having the surgery if that's what it takes to get over this pain. He is finally tired of it.

The only thing is....IF the surgery is done, he will be off work for up to 3 months. That's a long time for us to be together 24/7. So, if he will be having surgery, I will be asking for prayers...not only for him, but for me. I just know he'll drive me to the nut house. I do love my husband, but this scares me more than him having the surgery. I'll just have to pray he heals really, really fast!!!!

The other thing is, he may not be able to do the same job he is doing now..auto body repair. If he can't go back to doing what he's done all his life...I don't know what we'll do. He's tried finding other jobs, he's 54 and not too many places hire 54 year old men who have done body work their entire life. Plus, about the only thing he could do, to make close to the same amount of money, is factory work.

Guess I should have put this in another forum, maybe, but things are looking a little bit scary. I don't want to have to find a full time job again. I hoe that doesn't sound too selfish considering it's his health I'm talking about. I've worked every since I was 16 years old. Never being without a job. I took the bus driving a few years ago, because we both wanted me to be off when our son was home and not pay a sitter. My insurance is too great to let it go...so I guess right now I'm just kind of blowing off some nervous steam. Not knowing how this is going to play out for us is a little nerve wracking. I'm trying to not get to worked up yet until he's had the MRI and we find out exactly what is in store for us.

Please keep us in your thoughts for now, I would really appreciate it.

[Gina]

Janet wait until the results are back before you start having panic attacks. Hopefully they can control it with medication. If not and surgery is the only way to go, to being pain free. Then he must have it. Take one step at a time , don't overwelm yourself. Things will fall into place. I will keep you and your husband in my thoughts and prayers and if he needs surgery I hope it will be 100 percent benefical. Maybe when he recoups he can continue to do what he does, you don't know. Seek in the Lord and he will put everything in place. Trust me..

[rivermom]

Awww Janet ~ rest yourself. As Gina says "wait until you know more". There is no help now in worrying about stuff you might not have to worry about.

Your husband being in pain is a huge deal and if having surgery will ease him of the pain then the doctors are leading him in the right direction. If he has the surgery he's going to need your help and support more than ever. We are always around to listen to you blow off steam so R-E-L-A-X and think positive.

Where there's a will there's a way as I always say and I believe we are never handed more then what we can deal with. Keep us posted on what you find out and know you will be in our thoughts.

[Chandra Amaya]

Janet I know its very scary. We are more afraid of the unknown than anything else. Gina is right try not to panic until you get all the details or you will be in the nut house before it ever happens. If he does need the surgery all of us will be here to help talk you through the bad times. and one point to remeber is if he does need it, while he is off work he will need pain pills which means he will be too out of it to drive you entirely nuts . As far as not knowing how work & finances will go. One step at a time, you will get disability while he's recovering right? And as for later.. things always have a way of working themselves out. when a door is closed a window is opened. Just hang in there & try to stay positive & Remember we are here whether you need to scream, cry , yell or just need someone to listen.

[AngieDoogles]

I agree with the others Janet. I know it's hard, but try your best to focus on the present. The future will take care of itself. You never know what will happen...this may even bring you and your hubby closer!! Wouldn't that be amazing!? Try to stay positive and if things get tough, at least you have somewhere to vent and people who are willing to listen.

I'm glad your hubby is getting the medical attention he needs and hopefully he won't even need the surgery! Keep us posted. We're here for you!

[Gina]

Originally Posted by AngieDoogles

I agree with the others Janet. I know it's hard, but try your best to focus on the present. The future will take care of itself. You never know what will happen...this may even bring you and your hubby closer!! Wouldn't that be amazing!? Try to stay positive and if things get tough, at least you have somewhere to vent and people who are willing to listen.

I'm glad your hubby is getting the medical attention he needs and hopefully he won't even need the surgery! Keep us posted. We're here for you!

Janet by golly Angie is right!! I was having a rough time a few years ago and was on the verge of leaving my husband. When low and behold I broke my foot , I think I mentioned this once before. I was unable to do anything, so my hubby helped me with housework, cooking , etc. even help me shower <blushing> that broke the ice and I realized that he loved me more than he shows. Sooo you never know...This may bring you closer together... There is a reason for everything.

[Marilyn]

(((((Janet))))), like everyone is saying don't panic yet. Just think, if hubby has been in this much pain for this long, it must be affecting his attitude about everything. This may be why he doesn't feel like doing some of the things you think he should. If he has the surgery and it goes will, you may be pleasantly surprized with your new man. You may actually enjoy having him home once he gets to feeling better.

Will be thinking of you and hoping everything will work out for the best.

We are always here if you need encouragement or just to vent.

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by Gina

Janet by golly Angie is right!!

Wow, I don't hear that often. LOL!

[Mandy]

Sorry your hubby is going thru this! I agree with all the above.
We are here for you anytime you need us.

[Emmsmom]

I hope everything works out well. ((HUGS))

[Janet]

You all have just made me cry so hard!!! You all are right, there is no need to worry as of yet. I need to wait and see what the test results are and then what the Dr. feels is necessary. I know Rick is in pain and it probably is alot of the reason for his lack of help. I know this logically. I want him to feel better and not be in pain.

I was so afraid of sounding selfish, but not one of you made me feel that way. I honestly am just feeling afraid....the unknown....the 24/7. I have to remember if he stayed in this condition, the 24/7 probably would be hell. But if it will make him feel better, it won't be so bad.

Thank you all so much for being the best friends anyone could ever ask for. I appreciate your thoughts, your prayers, your kindness and your willingness to let me sound off until we know what is in store for us.

I truly love you all very much.

[Tink]

Janet, my husband was off work for 5 months last year with back problems. I can SO relate!

Greg ended up getting cortisone injections, which helped some, and then went for physical therapy. He still has some problems, but is much improved.

I really hope your hubby is able to get help other than surgery too.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[Chandra Amaya]

Originally Posted by Marilyn

(((((Janet))))), like everyone is saying don't panic yet. Just think, if hubby has been in this much pain for this long, it must be affecting his attitude about everything. This may be why he doesn't feel like doing some of the things you think he should. If he has the surgery and it goes will, you may be pleasantly surprized with your new man. You may actually enjoy having him home once he gets to feeling better.

Will be thinking of you and hoping everything will work out for the best.

We are always here if you need encouragement or just to vent.

Very good point Marilyn

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by Janet

Thank you all so much for being the best friends anyone could ever ask for. I appreciate your thoughts, your prayers, your kindness and your willingness to let me sound off until we know what is in store for us.

I truly love you all very much.

Aww, you're so sweet, Janet! Group Hug!

[highlans]

I can relate to this Janet, my husbands lower disc's are fused together caused by his job however was able to control the pain by phisio (sp) and sometimes meds.

A couple of years ago his back pain got worse and went down his leg he went to the dr and it was his hip so had a hip replacement.

The pain all went in the back hip and leg just sometimes maybe when he does to much like this weekend put a lot of fence panels up he was in some pain but on resting is okay.

I had him home for six month's at the begining found it hard but once into a routine was sad when he went back to work.

So do not panic may be not so bad, any way you can moan to us all here.
Good luck to you both.