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06-23-2007, 03:30 PM
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#1 |
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Moderator
Donating 4WT 13K Club Member 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Kansas
Posts: 16,069
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A Letter to a Redneck Son
Dearest Son
I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last Gander family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure about it. I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We haven't seen them since. The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days. Auntie Maude has sent you a pair of socks she knit, she put a third one in because she heard you have grown another foot since she last saw you. About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Billy said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. Jimmy locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out. Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle. The baby looks just like your brother. Uncle Bobby fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated, he burned for three days. Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down. There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the normal has happened. Your Favorite Aunt, Mom
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*´¨) ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Diana Baker ✞ You and I are friends.......
Always remember that if you fall I will pick you up...... After I stop laughing!!! |
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06-24-2007, 04:06 AM
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#2 |
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Moderator
Donating 4WT 18K Club Member 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: INDIANA
Posts: 21,624
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That one is an old one, but I love it everytime. I laugh all the way through it.
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To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1 |
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06-24-2007, 07:23 AM
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#3 |
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Donating 4WT 2000 Club Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Rural Wisconsin
Posts: 3,707
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LOL They didn't miss a trick did they?
Thanks for sharing!
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'A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in.. And how many want out.' England 's Prime Minister Tony Blair' |
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06-24-2007, 07:26 AM
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#4 |
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Donating 4WT Yakker
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Denver, NY
Posts: 8,097
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Yeah, that one has it all! Very funny.
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Judy     |
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06-25-2007, 01:22 PM
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#5 |
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Donating 4WT 4000 Club Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 6,509
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Oh my! How funny! I love the ending. lol
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"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." ~MT |
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