i hate men!!!!!!!!!

[katepoet]

Puppies - they make new messes, kiss you when you least expect it, protect the house, and don't wash the dishes except to clean their plates. Hmmm.... who was it we are defining here?

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by DianaB

I admire women who work and still can keep a household running. Especially if they have kids involved in all sorts of stuff. My daughter-in-law does a great job of keeping everything going and the house clean but my son is also very good at pitching in when needed.

That's great that she can do that Diana, but my question is...should she HAVE to? I mean, isn't it fair if she's working for the husband to pitch in in other areas instead of her having to work and still do so much at home? (Not to say anything bad about your daughter-in-law or son, but just thinking about society in general.)

*Edit--oops sorry. I read that last little bit incorrectly at first.*

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by Janet

Your DIL is very lucky to have your son. I see some husband now that are so helpful around the house, dishes, laundry, etc. I see them working in their yards, planting shrubs, etc. Mine just doesn't do any of that. And when he does, it is not done correctly...I don't mean not done my way, but only half way done or very sloppily...no pride in the job. I have to ask him to do everything. The house would fall down in disrepair if I didn't make sure he fixed it or threatended to pay someone to fix it.

Okay....here I go...I really need to stay away from hubby type topics...LOLOL If anyone wants him....you're more than welcome...I'd rather have another puppy.

Janet, don't just get a new puppy...train your hubby instead!

[Janet]

OH Sweet sweet Angie....you silly girl...I've been married 33 years now...he's untrainable and I have no more interest in doing so. I just have to pretend that he didn't do it at all and re-do it, otherwise I'd go nuts and be more unhappy.

[DianaB]

Originally Posted by AngieDoogles

That's great that she can do that Diana, but my question is...should she HAVE to? I mean, isn't it fair if she's working for the husband to pitch in in other areas instead of her having to work and still do so much at home? (Not to say anything bad about your daughter-in-law or son, but just thinking about society in general.)

*Edit--oops sorry. I read that last little bit incorrectly at first.*

I guess that I worded it wrong when I said "when needed". My son and his wife started out with twin girls for their first children and my son has been very helpful all the way with the kids (they now have a son too). My husband's family has a father that has been VERY involved with the kids and you can see it now in all of the kids and grandkids. They are people who are VERY involved in raising their children. My son is also very considerate of his wife and helps her out a lot and even the kids are trained to pitch in and help. Before they could come over for gingerbread the other day they had to do some chores before they could come.

I think that my son is an example of his father and that children learn from their parents. If a husband treats his wife well, helps out, and respects his wife, then his sons will learn from his example on how to treat a wife.

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by Janet

OH Sweet sweet Angie....you silly girl...I've been married 33 years now...he's untrainable and I have no more interest in doing so. I just have to pretend that he didn't do it at all and re-do it, otherwise I'd go nuts and be more unhappy.

Are they ever really "untrainable"? LoL! Maybe you can still teach him a few things.

Diana, very well said. It is all in how they are raised. I can't wait to see Brendon's traits in our children someday.

You are lucky to have such a good hubby and son. You'll have to remember to give your father-in-law a big thank you and hug when you see him.

[katepoet]

Getting serious for a moment, I would never want to be "trained" - so demeaning - and so I would never try to train my husband. I assume that, in truth, we all feel that way. The only thing I have found that works is to ask for what I need and if for some reason it doesn't happen, ask why and how we can make it work better. Mutual respect and communication were essential to my commitment to marriage in the first place. Sometimes during tough times, we fall down on the job of communicating well and we have to work harder at it for awhile but that's life.

Sometimes I think we come into marriage with expectations based on what we have known in our families, but our spouses have different expectations based on their life experiences. Sometimes we choose a spouse who is a follower because we want to lead and sometimes a leader who we want to follow. All of this gets in the way of building a long-term marriage that rests on the rock of respect, kindness and fellowship. We have to grow as individuals and as a couple and it takes work. We are constantly re-birthing ourselves and most of us know what giving birth was like - it isn't usually an easy walk in the park! lol

[rivermom]

Usually the nagging works for me. **kidding**

[AngieDoogles]

So I was definitely kidding about "training" a spouse. I'm not *THAT* mean. It is, however, fun to joke around about men since we're all women here...

[Janet]

Originally Posted by AngieDoogles

So I was definitely kidding about "training" a spouse. I'm not *THAT* mean. It is, however, fun to joke around about men since we're all women here...

You've heard the phrase..."can't teach an old dog new tricks."...LOLOL Yes he is pretty much untrainable. He wasn't raised the way I was..to take care of what you have and take pride in it ....pride in a job well done. Around home, he just does it any old way to get it done, so he can do something he likes to do...tinker. Man..here I go again.

[katepoet]

My son and I were talking about stereotypes yesterday so it seemed that clarifying the humor was important!

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by Janet

You've heard the phrase..."can't teach an old dog new tricks."...LOLOL Yes he is pretty much untrainable. He wasn't raised the way I was..to take care of what you have and take pride in it ....pride in a job well done. Around home, he just does it any old way to get it done, so he can do something he likes to do...tinker. Man..here I go again.

Different people value different things and a lot of that definitely comes from how you were raised. I'm sure there are lots of things you admire about him, even if his work ethic is a bit annoying at times.

[Janet]

Originally Posted by AngieDoogles

Different people value different things and a lot of that definitely comes from how you were raised. I'm sure there are lots of things you admire about him, even if his work ethic is a bit annoying at times.

You're just dying for me to say something good about my hubby aren't you now Angie Well okay......I will give him credit for having excellent taste in a wife...

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by Janet

You're just dying for me to say something good about my hubby aren't you now Angie Well okay......I will give him credit for having excellent taste in a wife...

Lol, you know me, I'm forever an optimist...

And yes, he has terrific taste when it comes to choosing a wife! If nothing else, he's got that going for him, right? Also, from what you've said, he seems like a really great dad!

[judy]

There you go...you're 100% right Janet. His taste is impeccable.

I don't think you actually "train" a spouse, but I do think that we teach people how to love us and how to treat us. I think that's really what we mean when we say "train our husbands."

One thing for sure, we can't change a person's basic nature. It's a waste of time and energy.