I think it's over.

[Lindsey]

I don't know where to start. Last weekend I went home to visit my parents for the first time in months. I was on the computer, showing them on Google Earth all the places I want to travel, the places I am travelling (Mexico and NYC next year) and I decided I'm really really sick of where I live and it was always my dream to move places and travel around. It still is my dream. I decided I'm going to do it. I'm staying here for another year, and then I'm gone.
I got back here on Sunday night and called Kyle. He was in a bad mood and didn't want to see me. I felt like it was all my fault and I begged for him to come over. Finally, he did. I answered the door holding my dog, and he didn't even say hello, just walked right past me and up the stairs. Later he said he didn't want to hug me when I was holding "that" I told him I've decided to follow my dreams and go places, and he freaked out and asked what's the point of even dating then, because I know he won't ever leave his friends and family here.
We haven't seen each other all week, and we've barely talked. We just fight when we do. He says "Go then, be with your dog and meet some random guy and get married" And I'm SO sick of him not putting up with my dog. Last night I said "We're a package, if you want me, you need to want her"
This morning I emailed him and asked if we're still on for supper tomorrow night. He said "I don't think so, they won't let your dog into Red Lobster." and I ignored it. My roommate was getting on my nerves later and I asked him if we could go out tonight, and he said "I'm busy, go take your dog out somewhere" so I snapped and said "If you have anything else to say, keep it to yourself because I'm done."
We haven't spoken since.
I cried a little at work. I cried all the way home in my car. I've been sitting in my room now for 3 hours crying.
I'm sick of relationships. I'm sick of having nowhere to turn. I'm sick of my roommate being home and knowing what's going on and not even caring enough to knock on my door to see if I'm doing okay. I wish I could move tomorrow.

[Tink]

{{{Lindsey}}}
I'm sorry you're so unhappy. You're right though... if he can't accept your pet, he's not the guy for you. If a dog bothers him so badly can you imagine how he'd react if something really big got in the way? You deserve better... and it will come along when you least expect it.

[Lindsey]

I know inside that this relationship isn't going to last forever. I just always want to hold out for a little longer. But it's not fair to Layla to be scared of him, and it's not fair to me to feel controlled. I miss making decisions on my own without thinking about how he's going to react. I've had the chance to travel since I was 15 and had all my papers and medical stuff filled out to become an exchange student. My boyfriend didn't want me to go, so I didn't. I went to the university in the city where my boyfriend lived. I moved back here for a boyfriend, when I planned on moving to Arizona after graduating college in December. I'm 23 years old and I have so many regrets about not seeing the world yet. I'm not going to stay here just for another guy. I'm not married and I don't have children, this is MY TIME. I know I have to do what I want to do. Today he said "You would rather be with your dog than me" and yeah, I would.

[rivermom]

What's stopping you then? Go for it girl, just you and Layla. You said yourself this is your time. You are not married, you have no children, and most of all you said this has always been a dream of yours and were going to do it in a year.

It doesn't work when we depend on others for our happiness. As they say if we do that then we allow ourselves to depend on others for our unhappiness too.

This is your life. Only you know what's best for you.

[Lindsey]

I miss him.

[Tink]

Lindsey, you miss what you HOPED he meant to you... not who/what he really is.
You wouldn't miss the criticism or the jealousy of your dog. You wouldn't miss the moodiness and negativity he brought with him. Sometimes we miss the dreams when they fade... but you can't live with a dream when he keeps slapping you awake with negativity.

Go where you want to go and when the time is right someone will find you there... or will follow you there... it's someone who shares YOUR dreams that will make you happiest anyway.

[Lindsey]

Thanks for the support. I really don't know what I'd do without this forum!
I finally got out of my room to watch tv for an hour. You can imagine what my face looked like after crying for 4 hours straight. My roommate came upstairs, knowing what went on, obviously seeing how distressed I was, and she gushed that her deadbeat boyfriend finally called her and told me every detail of their wonderful conversation.
My lack of real friends here is so frustrating. Sometimes this forum seems like all I have. I just feel like I vent so much that I'm a huge downer around here

I am so sorry Lindsey. The way you describe him, what he says, how he treats you he sounds like an awful guy. I'm sure there is a lot of good about him that you did not mention but to me it just doesn't seem like he is the one for you. I mean i don't know much about your relationship and you're the one that knows but im just saying that from what you've mentioned so far. If you want to travel the world, which i think is GREAT btw then do it. You are young now and may never be able to do it again. You prob. will get married and may have kids and it will be harder to do by then. I say now is the best time. He just doesn't sound like the best guy to stick around for. Has he called you? If he hasn't i say forget him. You don't need someone controlling you like that. Are you going to be taking Layla when you travel the world? J/a cause i also want to travel and was wondering if it's possible to take my dogs. I have a bf too and hope that when i travel it will be possible to do it together, if we can't then idk what i will do. I really want to go to Europe, South America, central america, etc. just all over!! And i think your roomate stinks too, she should be caring enough to listen to you and be there, not talk about herself.

[Mandy]

Lindsey, you are no downer to anyone here, we are all here to support you. Now girl, if he doesnt like your Layla, give him the boot! Dont be silly, follow your dreams, there are many, many older woman, that wish they had the chance that you have, live your life, go places, travel, and meet REAL people, that WILL be your friends. Dont let some guy mess with your life, you have to look after yourself, you owe this to you!

[katepoet]

Hey Lindsey,
You are worth so much more than Kyle. Spend some time not in any relationship with anyone except yourself, and when you know what you really want in a man, not just in life (which sounds wonderful, by the way!) then, and only then, let yourself date. Keep in mind what you have to have to feel respected and loved and don't ever settle for less. They're out there - I know, I have one of these great guys, and our son is another one of them.
Meanwhile, enjoy your puppy's affection! He sounds like a true gentle soul.

[Gina]

Lindsey, As usual the women here have given you wonderful advice. Most of us are mature women and have been there and done that, with the exception speaking for myself of traveling the world. Now my mother speech will come out! lol

At your age you do not I REPEAT DO NOT!! need an man whom from what you mention is controlling. If you would marry him that would be considered abuse. He doesn't like your dog, that's ok many people do not like dogs. But Layla is a part of your life. If he can't accept her then it will not work. That is your fur baby.
I am sure that he has good qualities, but the controlling aspect is less to be desired. Right now you think its ok, your swayed by his looks I am assuming that he is a good looking guy and wanting someone in your life. As you get older looks start to fade and what you are left with is the personality.

Lindsey rewrite this chapter go persue your dreams of traveling, like many mentioned you only live Once so make it the best that you can.Your young and will meet a man who is meant to be down the road. Don't dwell on meeting someone it will happen when you least expect it. As far as your roommate she doesn't sound like a friend to me. Maybe she is jealous of you and likes when you are feeling down. Friends should uplift you and be there for you....

You can always vent, just knowing you have so many surrogate moms on here who listen...lol.

[Lindsey]

Thank you guys so much. I'm at work now, and I just felt like crying so I came to check here and I feel better. Today and tonight are going to be especially hard because we were having a special date tonight. I don't know if he realizes yet that we're DONE done, not just done talking about it. But he didn't call or text or anything last night. We email every day from work, and I doubt he will today but if he doesn't I won't know how to handle it. Do I respond? Do I leave it?
It has been pointed out to me a lot that since he can't handle a little dog with a lot of energy who can sometimes become annoying, how will he ever handle babies, toddlers, or even teenagers? He has a temper which can be seen when Layla has an accident on the floor, or gets sick and throws up on the floor, or even when we're out together and another guy looks at me. I don't feel he would ever physically hurt a woman, but he is scary when he yells.
He is a good guy besides his temper and his hate of Layla. He does cute things for me to make me happy. It's not even really physical attraction with him, I'm attracted to him because I can be myself completely and not be judged when I act silly. He doesn't do drugs, he's very family-oriented, and his life isn't based on partying all the time (like every other ex). If it wasn't for the Layla thing, and him refusing to leave the city, he would be perfect.

[Lindsey]

Originally Posted by Fairydust125

IAre you going to be taking Layla when you travel the world? J/a cause i also want to travel and was wondering if it's possible to take my dogs. I have a bf too and hope that when i travel it will be possible to do it together, if we can't then idk what i will do. I really want to go to Europe, South America, central america, etc. just all over!! And i think your roomate stinks too, she should be caring enough to listen to you and be there, not talk about herself.

When I'm moving to places, I will take her. I think I'd like to go to the Maritimes for a couple of years, and maybe to the US for awhile. I'd like to go to Europe for a month (and maybe move somewhere there... I've always wanted to live in Scotland). I think for most foreign countries, animals have to be quarantined for a little while. If I was just travelling to visit and tour around, I think I'd just leave her with my parents.
And yeah, I know, my roommate has problems NOT being the center of attention. We've been friends since I was about 8 years old, and I thought she had changed before she moved in with me in June. Apparently not. We actually went camping with Kyle and his friends in July, and Kyle and I had a big fight and I talked to her for a bit and she didn't even move to hug me or anything, she just said "that sucks" So I walked off and she stayed back to party with him and his friends. They said later she just talked about herself for hours.

[rivermom]

Sometimes it's difficult to remember that we can never change others, only ourselves. Our actions, thought processes, attitudes, etc...

[Mandy]

Lindsey, if you plan on traveling, and bringing the little one across, but are worried about the quarantine, let me know, i can help you.