Mom on the warpath

[Tink]

I was attempting to clean and reorganize last night after our big project this weekend. On top of the mess made by the remodeling projects, my kids and their S/O's were here much of the weekend and left me a terrible mess to clean as usual. I was plugging away at it last night and was frustrated because on my kitchen table are 2 jigsaw puzzles katie finished; Shannons sewing machine and related items; odds and ends of upholstery material Joel used in the process of recovering some speakers in his car and all the stuff that he used with it; I can't even get to the table top, much less use it! Katie left baby items all around; Josh left their mail laying here on the counter; Joel had left nearly-empty pop cans scattered here and there and partially emptied plates of food sitting around the office and living room. Obviously they'd cooked several times and left me all the dirty dishes to do.

But as bad as that list is, what really pushed me over the top was that between the couch and a leather cabinet along side it, was a shopping bag with "take out" chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy half eaten and lodged in... which when I pulled it out, proved to be FULL OF MAGGOTS! On closer inspection, I realized they're under the cabinet, under the couch, and surrounding areas.

I was SO mad...Joel was at work, so I couldn't call him to come clean it up or I would have. Since this isn't the kind of thing you can leave overnight, I got the dirty job of it all by myself.

So this morning I started on the kitchen. I did 2 loads of dishes in the dishwasher, 3 sink fulls, and had to scrub my counters and stove to remove the mess they'd left. When I got to the far end of the counter, I absolutely lost it. There was a second bag of take-out under some of Joel's upholstery fabric... again, filled with Maggots! When I lifted off the fabric the dang things fell off all over the countertop and floor!

I was so mad I was in tears. I called Joel, woke him up and demanded that he come out and help me clean up his mess! In the process he got a lengthy lecture about respecting MY home, and told he must now leave when we go to bed rather than sit here watching our tv or using my computer while we're in bed for the night. I can't continue to get up to messes like this!

So today I'm bleaching my kitchen and entryway; Have spent the day just picking up the mess and am SO MAD if he were still a child I'd have had him over my knee. I also called Shannon and left her a message to come get her sewing machine etc... called Katie and told her she needs to pick up her stuff... and still haven't gotten to move everything back into the bathroom and laundry area yet!

Am I wrong, or is this just total disrespect? I've come to hate Mondays because I know I'll be spending the whole day cleaning up the mess left by my family every weekend! I did NOT raise them to live this way and I refuse to continue cleaning up their messes! I told both Joel and Katie today that as much as I love them, if they can't treat me and my home with more respect, they can quit coming over. Mom is on the warpath!

[Dobie]

I don't think it's wrong at all - being your family, they should have more respect for you then that.

[Ponyup]

That's just disgusting. They would of had to come clean it because I would of freaked out & ran away screaming. I probably would of had to move....maggots give me the willies. Also there would of been no next time with me. They would not have been allowed back into my house until they proved they had grown up. Totally gross.

[Emmsmom]

Oh no ! You are not wrong at all! You have gone above and beyond for the kids AND their friends over the years! It is not to much to ask for a little respect now! They are grown with kids and one on the way now so it is now time to grow up! I bet they don't leave their own places like this! I think you did the right thing. Stick to your guns and demand the respect! {{HUGS}}

[AngieDoogles]

Tink, your children should not treat you this way. You have been very good to them and they should return the favor. I hope this situation improves. You are a special lady and you deserve to be treated as such!

[Shada]

I don't even know what to say!!!
How disgusting!!! You are a stronger person then me, I would still be in the bathroom up-chucking!!!

Good luck to you.... just keep saying to yourself, tough love... be strong and be adament that this will not ever happen again!

[Janet]

Tink...you were much nicer than I would have been. I would have boxed it up and dumped it in the middle of their couch, floor and kitchen counter. How long had the food been there to have maggots in it? I would have been so freakin mad they would be afraid to come over and make a mess.

[DianaB]

I don't think that you're wrong for getting angry either, or making them take their stuff back home where it belongs. They are certainly old enough to clean up after themselves!!!!!

[Tink]

Thanks all, I was so grossed out that I hesitated to post this, but I really did need to vent. I have now vacuumed every bit of carpet and fabric and crack and crevice. I bleached my vinyl floors, and counter tops. I have gathered all the kids "stuff" and put it in piles and plan to put it on the back porch. If it's still here by Monday the whole works is going in the dumpster. I've reached my limit.

Greg called, so I told him what's up and he made the mistake of laughing. I don't think he'll do that again any time soon! He said he wasn't laughing at the mess the kids had left me, but that he likes to see my "spunky side". He said he wouldn't have wanted to be a fly on the wall during this 'cause I'd have surely swatted him! He's got that right!

I just don't understand how they think it's ok to act like this. I've never treated anyone like this. I try to keep the house clean and taught them to do the same. WHY they'd think it's now different since they no longer live here is absolutely beyond me. I plan to set some ground rules and boundaries for all of them and if they don't abide by them, I'm going to lock my door when they come.

Enough is enough. If they don't respect me, there's no reason I should tolerate them. It really sucks to have to feel this way about your own kids, but I just can't see any other way to look at it.

[Janet]

Wouldn't it be nice Tink to give them a taste of their own medicine? You and Greg should go over and take some food, then just leave everything for them. Maybe they'd get the hint. I like your spunky side too...LOL.

[Marilyn]

Sounds like it's time for shrimp in THEIR curtain rods!!!!!

Tink, you are so right on this. They should have more respect for you!!!

[Tiramisu]

You're not wrong - give them both barrels! It'll get worse with the g-kids! I've put three canvas bags in my laundry room (at the side door that we use most). When I find a bib or sock or something left behind, it goes in that family's bag. That's worked pretty good for us.

I've started a new procedure and they all think I've lost my mind. When I hear them mention that they need to go, I direct the g-kids to get all they toys and stuff picked up. The youngest daughter is the worst one. She lets her 4yo son do anything he wants. He'd rather play with my trinkets than a toy, so Hubby and I are constantly making him go put something back.

Hang tough and they'll come around.