My sweet Keller boy

[Shada]

My sweet Keller boy ~ 1991/Nov. 17th 2008

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Keller is now running with all his strength and glory.His eyes are alert once more. He is prancing like the King he is... and waiting for me until we can be together again. Keller is my forever angel, my protector, my loyal companion these past 17 years.. I just pray I did the right thing for my Keller boy.

Seventeen years old Keller was, with the soul of a young dog, but sadly his body was giving out. Losing strength in his back legs.. losing the spark in his eyes. Started having seizures in September.

Sunday night around midnight he had another seizure.
He was laying right beside me. At first I thought he had a scratch bothering him he couldn't reach... then full blown seizure. It was horrible. After it was over, I stayed with him for a good hour until he was resting well and sleeping. I went to bed around 1:00 am. He was on his bed in the living room. Sleeping peacefully, or so I thought. At 3:00 am I woke up, heard him walking around, Then nothing. I got up to check on him and could not find him. OMG, he had fallen down the basement stairs! Never would I have believed that could happen, since I have lived in this house he has always 'backed up' to get out of the kitchen.. always had a fear of being too near the stairs. Wouldn't turn his back on it. Then he falls down those same stairs he was so terrified of. The fall didn't seem to hurt him... thank God, other than the obvious shock of falling down the stairs.

When I adopted Keller all those years ago, I promised to protect him. To not let him suffer. To always put him first. I tried to do that Monday for him. I took him to the vet for his final ride.. I held him as he took his final breath.

How do you know? How do you know what you are doing is the right thing?? I feel like I gave up on my Keller boy. Yet I know I gave him the peace he deserved.. his eyes told me months ago he was ready..how I wish I could see the old Keller, eyes alert and body active...

Now I am sitting here just a few short days since he is gone.. and I can't believe he is gone. I can still smell him. His fur balls are still on my floor. I know I will wake up during the night to listen to him walking around... pacing and pacing... I look around and can't believe he is not still here...right there close as always and being my Keller boy.

How I already miss him. What a special dog he was. Never will I forget the bond we shared.. and I do believe, I know, that he is still with me, still watching over me, and I will reunite with my Keller.. along with the new friends he has met who are also waiting for me, the old friends he was fortunate to share his life with, and for the future friends he will meet until our journey is complete.

Please say a prayer for Keller. And for me that I will find peace and acceptance for what I did.

[gja1000]

It is so hard. I had a little schnauzer, Laddie. He had bad arthritis in his back hips. I gave him medicine for it. He'd have something wrong, I'd take him to the vet, and we'd have the conversation about when will the "time" come? My wise old vet always said, "You will know". And he was right.

You knew, you knew since September. You would not have taken that step if you didn't know. Of course, due to the grief and loss, you think maybe it wasn't time, because you want him back - but you know it was time - you would never have taken that step if you didn't know.

I'm so sorry you are going through this, it is so hard, so sad, but "Keller is now running with all his strength and glory.His eyes are alert once more. He is prancing like the King he is... and waiting for me until we can be together again."

And that is all that matters!

[Marilyn]

Oh, Shada, I hope you find comfort. You did the right thing. It's always hard to face when it's time to let go. Hugs....

[Janet]

Shada...I am so terribly sorry for your loss of Keller. Gayle is right. You know when it's time. The grief you are feeling is trying to tell you different, but you know you were right. I've gone through it too and it does get better, Shada...I promise. {{{{hugs}}}}

[DianaB]

It's so hard to let go of our pets and companions. Like the others have already said, you knew in your heart that it was time. It's a difficult decision to make and you took your time and knew that it was the right thing to do. You know that Keller doesn't hurt and ache any more. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

[judy]

Oh Shada, I am so sad with you. You did do the right thing at the right time. Your bond with Keller is so strong that you just knew.

I will keep you both in my prayers and in my heart. I'm sending you hugs.

[Shada]

Thank you all for your kind words.

It means a lot to me.

[celstu1]

oohhh what a sweet tribute to him. Im so sorry for your pain. You had such a wonderful long life with Keller. You are so lucky to have had each other for as long as you did. I pray that you find peace and acceptance. You did what was right and humane for him given the circumstance. You did protect him. You protected him from the pain more days on this planet would have brought his little body. You are his angel and he is looking down on you right now. (((HUGS)))

[Gina]

Shada reading your thread breaks my heart for knowing the pain that you are feeling. But like the rest said Keller had lived a long and fulfilled life. You have spent many wonderful years together and he will always be in your heart. You gave him the gift of love by doing what you did. I never forget when I had to sign papers not to keep my mom alive artifically while she was in a coma, it was such a hard decision, and one of the nurses said those words to me about being a gift of love, and right after that she died and I was relieved. Somehow that nurse gave me comfort in those words.


((( Hugs))) to you Shada my friend your in my prayers. I hope that the pain will lighten as days go by.