So frustrated with this wedding!

[Lindsey]

As most of you know, I'm my best friend's MOH. Our friend Jeni is another bridesmaid. We have all known for over a year that we are going to be in this wedding, and it will cost us time and money. Jeni was supposed to go to Red Deer the same weekend Scott and I just went, so that we could all help out with guest favors. Jeni decided instead to stay home and party. I know my friend was upset about it, but she didn't say too much.
I have booked everything back home for her bridal shower. Since most of her friends live around Edmonton (she moved there right after high school), she said she wanted her bachelorette party to be there. Most of her friends won't be coming to our hometown for the shower, so at least they can take part in something by having a party in Edmonton. I have no problem with that. I have budgeted for that. Jeni just told me she can't do the Edmonton thing so we should just do her bachelorette party in our hometown on the same weekend as the shower. She said she can't afford to go to Edmonton, after I know she has spent money on drinking and partying every weekend since Christmas, plus she just bought a purebred pit bull puppy! That can't be cheap. Where are her priorities?
Oh and the fourth bridesmaid is MIA. I have called her constantly, and finally told my friend I have been unable to get ahold of her, so my friend gave me her home number to leave a message on voicemail. I have left messages and have not heard back, and I have been trying to get ahold of her for over a month already.
I am at work right now and just shaking because I am SO MAD at everyone involved. The fiance's sister is good, I guess her and I will be doing all the work. I think I should still do the right thing and try to organize a bachelorette party in Edmonton, even if only half of the bridal party shows up. I want to be able to ask my friend what she wants to do, but I know I shouldn't be putting stress on her about this so I've kept it to myself. How much is appropriate to tell her?

[Blueyes]

You are such a good friend, Lindsey! I would just tell her what she needs to know. Let her decide where to have her party, but let her know about the girls that won't show up. You were very mature to save your money and plan the way you did. She's lucky to call you her friend

[gja1000]

You ARE a good friend, Lindsay. Talk to the bride, let her decide what she wants and then try to make it happen. This is a good lesson - you don't need the lesson - but it will help you, help others in this situation and will help you when your turn comes. You will also remember it when you have a daughter

Good luck with everything!

[Lindsey]

Thank you so much!
I did talk to my friend this afternoon. I asked her where she wanted the bachelorette party and she said "whatever works for you guys!" so then I asked if she had a lot of friends in Edmonton who would show up for it and she said "Yeah they would all come" so I said "Okay, it's in Edmonton then!" I explained about Jeni, and about the other bridesmaid who wouldn't answer the phone, and she said it's their loss, if they don't want to come they're missing out. She was so good about everything and told me to stop being silly and stressing out. I told her "I just didn't want you to be upset if everyone wasn't there" and she said "As long as you're there that's all I care about!" and she thanked me for thinking of her and how she'd like her friends to be around (instead of having it in our hometown). I was getting teary at work because she was being so nice lol... and then she told me that I was making her "cry of happiness" and that I was the best maid of honor she could have gotten I told her she's the best bride I could have hoped to be maid of honor for because she doesn't care if everything's not perfect.
Anyways, she also tried calling the other bridesmaid and got no answer. BUT Scott and I were shopping tonight and she called! She said her husband must have listened to the messages and didn't tell her. Anyways, we got things straightened out tonight and it looks like the three of us bridesmaids will be planning a party in Edmonton! Now I'm stress-free and excited again!

[judy]

It is great that you worked it out, and that she called you back. You are such a good friend!

[DianaB]

I'm so glad that you were able to get things worked out. I would have been stressed about it too.