So sad right now......

[DIANE W]

I have just managed to get online after a week of hell.

I am so very very sad right now, i dont know what to do with myself, I have always been very close to my Aunt and Uncle (they are really like Mum And Dad to me).

My Aunt died at 9pm last night and my uncle and i were with her in the hospital....it was such a peaceful passing - that i am very grateful for, but we are just shocked beyond belief it has happened.

She has had lots of medical problems in the passed, heart bypass surgery, problem with her kidneys, high blood pressure etc. Well she just got so bad that breathing was more and more difficult for her. We called an ambulance and she was taken to hospital 6 days ago, despite all their wonderful efforts, she just wasnt able to fight to overcome everything that was wrong with her body. Dr's told us kidney, respiratory and heart failure all contributed to her death.

They called us to the hospital yesterday at 3pm, almost immediatly the Dr asked to speak privately to us (I just knew it was bad news), she told us she was very ill and was dying, and that she had hours not days left.

She remained unconscious the whole time and peacefully stopped breathing at 9pm. I just cant take it in, that she has gone for ever. My uncle is sad that he never got to speak to her, he was too ill himself to visit her in the hospital, which he now deeply regrets. I went in every day and then visited him to tell him how she had been after each visit.

We talked to her, but i dont know if she could tell we were there with her, she didnt respond to touch, when i squeezed her hand.

But when she finally stopped breathing, i noticed a tear in the corner of her eye - do you think that means anything at all, or is it a natural occurance on passing?

Her poor husband is so upset too, they have been together for 63 years, she was 78 and he is 82 now. I do take comfort that they had those years of happiness, and it was so unusual, i think to have such a harmonious lovely marriage (they truely never had so much as a crossed word - they were so compatible, and each put the other first all the time).

I am off work now on compassionate leave so i can make all the arrangements, i have made a start, but it is the first time i have had this responsibility myself.

I know it will take time to grieve, but it is so hard to accept.

[Janet]

Diane.....please accept my deepest condolences on the passing of your aunt. My heart goes out to you and your uncle. Wish there was something I could do, but know that you and your family are in my prayers and I'm sending you a {{{{{HUG}}}}}

[JJJ]

My deepest condolenses to you and your family. I know how hard it is to lose a love one and then have to handle all the arrangements. Sending you lots of positive energy so you can be strong for those who need you.

[DianaB]

Diane, I'm so sorry to hear that you have lost someone so near and dear to you. You have my sympathy.

You were so fortunate that you were able to be with her at the end.......and yes, I believe that she knew that you were there. (My Grandmother, before she died, was in a coma but whenever family would enter the room her blood pressure would go up.) I would guess that the tear was her love for you and your uncle.

As for preparing for the funeral.......the funeral home will help you and your uncle with your decisions. That's what they're there for.

Wish that I was there to help or bring food.......Hugs Diane!!!!

[Lindsey]

I am so so so sorry Diane. You and your uncle and the rest of your family are in my prayers

[DIANE W]

Ahhhhh..... Thank you all so very much for your kind words, they really do help, and being able to come here and tell you all helps too.

Well i have had another busy day today...but at least things are coming together.

Diana you were right the funeral director's are going to do most of the organising, which is a big relief.
The funeral is going to be next Friday (15th), the only thing i am unhappy with is the funeral directors are so busy at the moment, they cant bring my Aunty into their chapel of rest until the day before the funeral - so we will only have 1 day to visit.
We can go whilst she is still at the hospital, but i dont want to see her there in a mortuary - as they dont have any chapel facilities at all.

My uncle seems to be bearing up really well, but i think when he is alone he will be suffering, he is not sleeping too well - I know all of this is to be expected.

So once again a big thank you to all of you for your kind words.

[Blueyes]

I'm so sorry about your loss Diane! I was with both of my parents and my mil when they died. It felt like such a privilege to me to hold their hand as they took their last breath. I know it's hard, but I'm so glad you were with her. It's a powerful thing.

You are probably moving in a fog. It sounds like it was so sudden, and a shock to everybody. I hope the week passes smoothly for you until her services. God bless you all.

[gja1000]

Oh Diane I am so sorry to hear of your loss. It is so hard, but Betsi is right, it is such a privilege to be able to be with loved ones at the end of life.

[paula1961]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear Aunt. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family Diane. Sending love your way.

[Marilyn]

Diane, just wanted to also express sincerest condolences. It is very special that you could be there with her. I was with my mom until about an hour before she passed. My husband insisted that I go home for a while and shortly after I did, she passed. He was very sorry that he made me go, but she passed peacefully as well. Hope all the arrangements go smoothly!!

[judy]

Diane, I am so sorry for your loss and for your poor uncle. The funeral will take care of itself. That's when the hard part comes though. I will keep you in my heart as your are grieving, and your uncle too. It is good that you have each other right now.

[DIANE W]

Thank you all for your kind words.

Today has been another busy day, we have been to the bank to take care of finances, ordered the flowers, paid the funeral director bill, we had visitors call, and then i looked through his clothes to make sure everything is ready for the funeral on Friday. Now i am at home, really tired, cant go to sleep when i go to bed, then wake up early - not like me at all.

Oh well tomorrow is another day to deal with.......

[judy]

So sad Diane! One day at a time, dear friend.

[DIANE W]

I know Judy - thats all that we can do, one of the nice things going on is all the visitors and friends of both my Aunt and Uncle from years ago. We are having a nice time visiting with them and talking about old times and lovely memories we all have.

People are being just so very kind to us, it makes you realise how nice most people really are.

Thank you for thinking about us.

[JJJ]

I know it still must be hard but hopefully everything went well and the family is more at ease.

Big cyber hug.