Stress

[Janet]

I am gonna have to watch everything I write on FB now. My wonderful friends showed their support and my niece had to take and twist what was said. She is now blocked on FB and I have told her not to contact me.....I'm done. She sent me some nasty texts......I hope it makes her feel better.

She is and has been for 36 years a spoiled brat who also loves drama. I'm feeling pretty good right now because I've lost about 450 lbs of 'pain in the a$$. Life can be good...lol

I'm very sorry Diana she had to put you in a position to defend yourself...she is the drama queen of our family. She lives two hours away and still causes problems.

Everyone knows that my older brother (her dad) and his wife help...could be more, but I take what I can because most of my family is very selfish. I had to delete some posts and I'm getting ready to delete the whole thing.

Why do people have to cause so much crap??

[gja1000]

Some people just have to be drama queens - and make mountains out of molehills. One thing is for sure - unless you are there 24/7, you have no clue, you think you know, but you don't. I hear this over and over and over from family caregivers that the other family members THINK they are helping A LOT, but in reality the help is only sporadic and is nothing compared to the 24/7 aspects of family caregiving. It is very common for them to be offended when someone insinuates they should be helping more - but the truth is, they just don't even have a clue.

Janet, sorry you have to have this family drama - every family has a drama queen - just block 'em! LOL!

[Janet]

Having trouble sleeping. Cried so much my eyes hurt. Here it is 1:01AM and even if I could fall asleep, mom will need help going to the bathroom around 2:00 AM. Hoping the Xanax kicks in soon. Can't seem to shut my mind off.

[DianaB]

I'm sorry that you're having trouble sleeping. Hugs.

Your neice didn't upset me with what she had to say. I just saw that she was defending her parents when really we weren't attacking them. It was just pointed out that they could help more. Did she say more after I posted my apology? If so, I missed it. I'm sorry that you had to remove her from your friend list.

[Janet]

I honestly don't remember if she Sid or not. She was completely out of line. She never calls mom or visits unless she thinks she is dying and then comes to the hospital just in case so she can try and get attention. She's a pain for sure. Please don't be sorry I don't want her as a friend or niece.

[judy]

You sound so stressed! When are the health aides, etc. coming again?

By the way, maybe you can call the agency and ask them to send an aide who has the physical ability to help Mom. I know we all have to earn a living, but a 6 month pregnant woman who cannot do heavy lifting cannot be an aide to someone who needs help getting up, walking, etc. If not, it still is help!

[JJJ]

Originally Posted by judy

You sound so stressed! When are the health aides, etc. coming again?

By the way, maybe you can call the agency and ask them to send an aide who has the physical ability to help Mom. I know we all have to earn a living, but a 6 month pregnant woman who cannot do heavy lifting cannot be an aide to someone who needs help getting up, walking, etc. If not, it still is help!

Ok I missed this about a prego. But that is just a shame

No it is not help, she is endangering her baby, herself and your mother. Please ask for someone else. I have worked for a home health agency and they do accomodate when you are not at ease with there help.

And I'm sorry about your FB little problem. There's always someone.

[Janet]

The nurse came again today. She is really nice and so thorough, I like her alot. The PT....not real sure about her, but I did mention my concerns to the nurse. A Home Health Aide came today to give Mom a bath. We didn't know she was coming so I pulled her aside and had her just talk with Mom a bit so they could get to know each other. No one would want a stranger to just come in and give them a bath. Mom thought she was nice and a talker...lol. She's coming back on Wednesday for the bath. Hopefully it will go well. Tomorrow an Occupational Therapist will be coming. I'm anxious to see how Mom does with HIM...lol. If he's nice looking she will do darn near anything he asks....LOLOL.

My younger brother did his 90 minute token visit with Mom to play Yahtzee. I need to find a time to speak with him about helping more. Jerry and his wife do really good...could be more, but they also work weekends so I can live with this. Brad on the other hand....instead of playing Yahtzee (in my way and not giving me a break) he could take Mom out for supper or for ice cream...maybe just a ride to get out of the house. He just doesn't get it and when I point it out....I can be assured he'll get mad. Oh well....not my fault, it's his.

[DianaB]

Why don't you ask Jerry to talk to your younger brother? Then you don't have to deal with the stress of it.

[Janet]

To tell ya the truth....I don't think he has the b****...lol....only to strangers on FB...lol

Talking to Brad doesn't really stress me out....if he gets mad he'll just have to get glad again....takes more energy to be mad than happy.

[judy]

I don't think he will stay mad. She is his mother too!

[DianaB]

Originally Posted by Janet

To tell ya the truth....I don't think he has the b****...lol....only to strangers on FB...lol

Talking to Brad doesn't really stress me out....if he gets mad he'll just have to get glad again....takes more energy to be mad than happy.

Ok......Did Jerry say something to me on FB? You never really said. I won't be mad....promise!!

[Janet]

He just said.... "way to go Tess" cheering on his daughter. Real grown up for a 64 year old, huh? This is the kind of mentality I deal with.

Just for the record.....Jerry & Betty visited with her Sunday and my younger brother Brad came Monday for his 90 minute token visit to play Yahtzee. Haven't heard from either one since not even a phone to her....nothing.

So when they talk about being such great help.....that's exactly what it is......talk.

We had some really bad storms pass through this afternoon and a tornado warning while I was on my way to pick up the kids. When I got home mom put her arms out for a hug and started crying. She had been worried about me and was so happy to have me back home safe.

[DianaB]

Oh well, I'm here to support YOU so it doesn't matter what they say!!! I'm glad that you made it home safely!!! This weather is just crazy!!!! Sorry that you're Mom had to go through it alone and was so worried. She does love you!!!

[judy]

Talk is just words. It's actions that matter, and you said Jerry does help. If they think you are complaining though, maybe you need to remind Jerry and his wife that she is his Mom too!