I'm Upset

I just got into it with my fourteen year old daughter. I tend to over react to things but she told me she wanted to go live with her dad! That really hurt my feelings but now I feel like pushing her away and having her go live with her DAD.

I have raised her alone since she was 7. Her dad lives in Washington State and they talk on the phone alot and he does come and visit, but he has not been here for school stuff or dr appts or any other things like that. I guess she thinks that the grass is greener on the other side. That her dad will not discipline her for things that she does wrong.

I'm not sure how her dad feels about this but I am upset and angry. I don't want to allow her to munipulate me with that treat everytime that she does not like something I do. I tend to be hard with discipline but the things that I was upset about I have asked her over and over not to do...and she continues to do them.

A part of me feels like maybe she should go live with her dad. But that means I would not see her because he lives on the other side of the united states.

Needed to vent...

[Kimberley]

Have you spoken to her dad about her behavior? My daughter talks to her dad frequently and if I'm having a problem with her, I call him up.

TEENAGERS!!!!

This is what I have to look forward to in a couple of years.

[Janet]

Maybe if you and her dad talk about it, you can come up with a time that she can go stay with him for awhile, say like age 17. That way when she throws it in your face you can tell her that it won't happen until such and such a time. Does she go stay with him during the summer or school breaks? Maybe that would be a good trial run.

My friend did it that way and after her daughter got through the "attitude" stage she really didn't want to live with her dad. My friend also told her that if and when she went to live with her dad...she could only take her clothes, nothing else. Well, when dad didn't have the extra money to buy all the things teens want, living with Mom looked pretty darn good.

[Janet]

Forgot to say Welcome !!!! Glad you found this site. Hopefully someone else will post with more advice. This place is great!!

[RLC12345678]

So sorry you are having to deal with this. I agree with everyone else...I would talk to her dad and hope that yall can work out a solution that is best for your daughter. Good luck and let us know what happens.

[Mandy]

Welcome, nice to have you! Sorry you have to deal with this, teen agers are not the easiest little people to live with at times, and difficult to understand them.
As you said, she probably thinks the grass is greener on the other side, talk to her dad and lets hope you can solve this. Please keep us posted Good luck!!

I talked with her Dad this morning. He has spoken with her and basically told her that things would not be any different at his house. That she would have rules and restrictions when rules are broken.

He really is a good dad and supportive and backs me up. I think she said that because she was mad at me and knew it would hurt my feelings.

Thanks for letting me vent.

[Janet]

That's what we're here for...to support, offer ideas and basically just to listen. It's wonderful that your ex is so supporting of you also. It benefits the kids beyond belief to know their parents (together or not) are united in doing what is best for them.

[khardy57]

When my boys were young teenagers, they constantly threatened me with going to live with their Dad. One day when I'd had enough, I packed both their bags and told them to call him! He told them really quickly that they couldn't live with him. Hard lesson for them to learn, but you don't need to take crap like that from your daughter when you're doing the best you can for her.

[rivermom]

Welcome. Teenagers make your head spin at times for sure. I hope things have smoothed over for the both of you.

[Amber_lv]

i'm sorry just take a deep breath