I have to Vent!!

ok.. so everyone knows i have a 2 month old baby..

and im not sure if you all know everything that ive been through.. from my pregnancy being extremely hard for me.. and having to be in the hospital on bedrest for what felt like forever..

then when my baby came out, i didnt even get to bond with her or touch her cause she had to go straight to the NICU.. and then of course afterwards she had to have surgery for her bilateral inguinal hernias..

and then now.. i have to deal with my mom thinking im freaking fat and i need to lose weight.. sheesh.. its been only 2 months and she's already all up on me about i need to lose weight.. im soooo fat that its ugly.. and that when she had her first child she lost weight because she refused to eat.. well um that's not me..

and then my mother in law being too overbearing.. having no privacy in my room with my things.. and then her telling me what to do with my child and how to do it and why.. or always questioning me for every little thing i do.. and then her yellling at me for telling her that my daughters pediatrician got mad at me for her scrubbing my daughters tongue trying to get the thrush off..

so i went to my doctors appt today and well i guess i have the post partum blues.. and she put me on prozac.. and well i told my mom.. and she tells me "gosh, everything is wrong with you, your the only one i know thats taken so many medications or everything is wrong with you".. oh not to mention the whole.. I'm fat thing again.. when i told her how hard i was working out at the gym and i lost a pound in a few days.. she says.. well when i had your brother i lost weight so fast.. maybe you should stop eating.. lovely aint it? ..

i just LOVE how freakin supportive my family is (NOT).. i feel like i have no one.. i hate it.. i feel so low.. ugly.. hated.. not wanted.. i feel so alone.. i hate it..

this is the only thing close to making me feel just a bit better.. i wish i had my own house.. i wouldn't have to deal with any of their bulldoody..

my fiance/boyfriend is supportive, but didn't understand why i'm depressed.. gee i wonder? but i explained it to him and finally he's gettin it..

why is my mom such a bi7*^?

[Amber_lv]

Honey i am so sorry i know how it is to have a pregnancy i to was on bed rest from preterm labor and he ripped all the muscles in my pelvis and back before i had him 3 1/2 weeks early i got severe post pardom depression too it's very hard and as far as you mom and mil as concerned this is your child they have no say so and the sooner you tell them that the better off you'll be you need to say this is my child not yours i have the right to make choices for myself and my child you chose how to raise your children now let me raise mine also about the weight you need to tell you mom that it took 9 months to put it on and it will take 9 months to take it off!!! Not eating is very bad for you your body needs the nutrition to build itself back up you don't need to risk your health right now you need to take care of your child! I feel for you i hate when people try to tell me how to take care of my kids i always tell them did you carry them for 9 months? Did you push them out no i don't think so and you can butt out of my business!!! Mothers are the worst at this but you really need to stand you ground and say something to them i hope it goes better for you and i am here if you need to talk i know what you are going through! Also stay on the meds this is a very hard time and they will help and tell your mom that you wouldn't need to take the pills if she was more supportive!

[Sherry Lynn]

I understand that it takes a couple of weeks, but once the meds kick in you should feel the cloud lifting. My girlfriend takes Prozac and it's really helped her. Being a new Mom and living with your in-laws is a LOT of stress for just one person.

Meanwhile just come here and vent when you need to and be thankful that Tom Cruise isn't your Doctor!

Originally Posted by Sherry Lynn

I understand that it takes a couple of weeks, but once the meds kick in you should feel the cloud lifting. My girlfriend takes Prozac and it's really helped her. Being a new Mom and living with your in-laws is a LOT of stress for just one person.

Meanwhile just come here and vent when you need to and be thankful that Tom Cruise isn't your Doctor!

yea if tom cruise was my doctor i bet he'd ask to bronze my poop as well

[Mandy]

So sorry you have to go through all this. You will start feeling better, but it takes time. When my son was 2 months old, i also got the blue's and they also put me on prozac for 6 months, so i know how you feel.
It's obvious that you are under a lot of stress and that is not helping, you need people to be supportive, specially right now, just come here and talk to us. Don't be too hard on yourself, it will all come right.

[blowry]

First of all Congrats on your new baby girl and I 'm glad to hear she is doing well. IMO...First of all I would to talk to my mother about the weight thing. You just had a baby...for crying out loud! I would tell her how she is making you feel. Just because she lost the weight fast (doesnt' sound like she did it in a healthy way either) doesnt' mean that you will! You are 2 different people with 2 different metabolisms. I would ask that if she can't keep her negative comments to herself that you would rather she stay away. I know this would be hard for you but you have a new baby that you need to care for and it doesn't sound like you are getting the support that you need. I am 49 yrs YOUNG! I have 2 beautiful girls, ages 23 and 28. It was very hard for me to take off the weight after each baby. But, you know what! I had these beautiful little babies and I just didn't care. Eventually the weight came off. You really need to talk to these people and let them know how you feel. Good Luck and, you always have us here to support you..

Prayers and hugs to you and your new little girl!

[magnolia]

Oh hon, I'm so sorry to hear of all that you're going through. With the problem pregnancy to begin with, added with the surgery your precious baby had to go through, and being in your in-law's home is extremely stressful. Heck, it's stressful enough having a new baby in your own home, much less with all you've had added! There is nothing wrong with needing medication at this time and your mom has "never heard of it" because she's probably never been told by friends or even family that they needed to take medication. Look at Brooke Shields! She's a celebrity and has admitted to taking medication for "the blues". So hold your head high and proud, you did the right thing seaking advice from your doctor instead of continuing on in your present state without meds to help. Everyone, at one point and time in their life, will need some form of medication to help them during difficult times. As for the weight issue, don't worry about it. As someone told me years ago when I had my first, it took 9 months to put the weight on, it won't drop off over night. You've not stopped since the baby was born to be able to focus on working out and stuff. The main thing to remember is this: if you are happy with your weight for now, then don't let what anyone says bother you - I know, easier said than done. But the weight will come off - you've got to take care of you mentally and spiritually before you can take care of yourself physically. Hang in there - we all love and support you here

[Janet]

Aw sweetie, I feel so bad that you're having all of this to deal with. No new mother should, it should be more of a time of rejoicing and bonding.

If it is at all possible, is there anyway you three can get a small apartment or anything that you can call your own? I think that would help out a great deal.

I also think it would be great if you had someone that could help you with all the feelings you're having and how to deal with them. If finances won't allow it, speak with your Dr., there are free places you can go, it not, talk with your pastor or any pastor. Take your meds as prescribed, but take care of your mental health as you are your physical.

I'm wishing you all the best, and if none of the suggestions will work for you at this time, then know we are here for you.