so angry!!

[Lindsey]

Leave him. You know deep down it's the right thing to do. Who cares if he makes a scene? Guys like that like to manipulate and be in control. Yeah, he'll be angry but it's nothing compared to how angry YOU'VE been. He's not worth it. One thing I've just had to make myself believe recently is that relationships aren't the only thing in life... I was just looking for someone to take my ex's place and now I've realized I just want to live for ME for awhile. You and I are the same age. You're still young! You don't need to be worrying about some guy who is treating you like dirt! Go out and live your life, and someday another guy will come along who will treat you like a princess... and that's what you deserve!

Well you guys, I spent all of yesterday trying to figure out how to break up with him. I don't want it to be nasty. I thought about what Janet (I think) said, and I think it is more because I was used to being with him, and not because I'm actually in love with him. I think that changed within the last year.
I am going to tell him today. I read all of your words, and seeing as women like yourselves have been through this once before, I know that I am doing the right thing. This was what my mother was talking about. She fears that he's going to get worse, and since she does work for the Police Department she says, she doesn't trust me being alone with him. I couldn't understand why she would say that but now I do.
I'm just trying to graduate from college and start law school in the fall. That's it. I don't want any more drama with him. I just don't want him making a scene because my mom will have him arrested. She has already told me so. And then can you only imagine what will happen after that? But I'm going to tell him right after I post this. (He's at church right now.. go figure) Hopefully, he won't be driving up to my house. (he's done that three or four times now). I will let you know how it all goes.


Ashley

[Lindsey]

Good luck! He's probably not going to just let it go, so please stay strong!

[Janet]

Originally Posted by aarnold808

Well you guys, I spent all of yesterday trying to figure out how to break up with him. I don't want it to be nasty. I thought about what Janet (I think) said, and I think it is more because I was used to being with him, and not because I'm actually in love with him. I think that changed within the last year.
I am going to tell him today. I read all of your words, and seeing as women like yourselves have been through this once before, I know that I am doing the right thing. This was what my mother was talking about. She fears that he's going to get worse, and since she does work for the Police Department she says, she doesn't trust me being alone with him. I couldn't understand why she would say that but now I do.
I'm just trying to graduate from college and start law school in the fall. That's it. I don't want any more drama with him. I just don't want him making a scene because my mom will have him arrested. She has already told me so. And then can you only imagine what will happen after that? But I'm going to tell him right after I post this. (He's at church right now.. go figure) Hopefully, he won't be driving up to my house. (he's done that three or four times now). I will let you know how it all goes.


Ashley

Ashley, I am so proud of you for thinking of yourself and your future first. I think you are making the right decision and your mother probably thinks so too. She has probably seen classic cases of guys like him and what ends up happening to the women they 'supposedly' love. Keep us informed, and know you are doing what's best for you.

[DianaB]

I'm glad to hear that your Mom knows what's going on and don't hesitate to let her know if you have trouble with this guy. It sounds like she's been worried about him for a while. I think that you're doing the right thing. Even if he makes a scene, don't back down. It's another manipulation trick and don't fall for it. I hope all goes well when you talk to him. Keep us posted on how it goes.

[Chandra Amaya]

Originally Posted by DianaB

I'm glad to hear that your Mom knows what's going on and don't hesitate to let her know if you have trouble with this guy. It sounds like she's been worried about him for a while. I think that you're doing the right thing. Even if he makes a scene, don't back down. It's another manipulation trick and don't fall for it. I hope all goes well when you talk to him. Keep us posted on how it goes.

I completely agree. & very good for you for endind it. Don't let him use you & the love you have for your daughter anymore. If you need to have him arrested please do. That is much better than putting you or your daughter though him becoming violent.

[Marilyn]

How did it go?????

[DianaB]

Originally Posted by Chandra Amaya

I completely agree. & very good for you for endind it. Don't let him use you & the love you have for your daughter anymore. If you need to have him arrested please do. That is much better than putting you or your daughter though him becoming violent.

Traci, are you lost? I'm not her Mom. I was just giving advice.

Well,
He came by my house just as he said he would.. and told me he wanted to talk to my mom and sister to find out why nobody likes him. He stayed at my house nearly an hour shouting "ashley I didn't cheat on you." and "I gave you three years of my life. I have never been with someone that long. I love you so much." And then he told me I was making the decision to end things with him because my family doesn't like him. He has been calling since the split.. more so that its at least 20 to 30 times within a few hours. But, I've been trying not to break down. It's his crying that has me bothered, however. He has never cried in his life, and he broke down and started crying once I told him it was over. I felt so bad. I never wanted to hurt him, and it seems that that is what I have done. I just want us to be alright, I didn't want to end things like this...
I miss him so much. I didn't think it would be this bad...

Ashley

[AngieDoogles]

Ashley, I sent you a PM since we were already talking that way. Just wanted to let you know.

[Mandy]

Originally Posted by aarnold808

Well,
He came by my house just as he said he would.. and told me he wanted to talk to my mom and sister to find out why nobody likes him. He stayed at my house nearly an hour shouting "ashley I didn't cheat on you." and "I gave you three years of my life. I have never been with someone that long. I love you so much." And then he told me I was making the decision to end things with him because my family doesn't like him. He has been calling since the split.. more so that its at least 20 to 30 times within a few hours. But, I've been trying not to break down. It's his crying that has me bothered, however. He has never cried in his life, and he broke down and started crying once I told him it was over. I felt so bad. I never wanted to hurt him, and it seems that that is what I have done. I just want us to be alright, I didn't want to end things like this...
I miss him so much. I didn't think it would be this bad...

Ashley

Stay strong Ashley! You know in your heart it was the right decision. Keeping you both in my thoughts, yes him too, he needs "happy thoughts" right now.

[Janet]

Ashley, the worst case women abusers cry to manipulate. Don't fall for this tactic. It's like turning on and off a faucett It probably worked for him as a young boy with his mother and he figures it will work for you too. Keep yourself busy and just don't answer the phone. He sounds like trouble and I sure wouldn't want you stuck in a relationship that is so manipulative. There is definitely something wrong if he is calling you this often

more so that its at least 20 to 30 times within a few hours

. You really need to be strong and walk away.

[Ponyup]

Originally Posted by Janet

Ashley, the worst case women abusers cry to manipulate. Don't fall for this tactic. It's like turning on and off a faucett It probably worked for him as a young boy with his mother and he figures it will work for you too. Keep yourself busy and just don't answer the phone. He sounds like trouble and I sure wouldn't want you stuck in a relationship that is so manipulative. There is definitely something wrong if he is calling you this often . You really need to be strong and walk away.

I was gonna say a similar thing. He's not crying because he's sad, he's crying because he got caught & the woman he thought he could walk all over finally got wise & stood up to him. Do not answer your phone. I would turn my phone off or change the number & give others another way to contact me. I dated a manipulative man in high school. I know how you feel. He cheated on me & used very personal things I had told him to get me upset so I would come home from college to see him. I lost 15lbs my freshman year at college (this was something i didn't need to do). My roommate used to find me hiding in my closet crying because i didn't want anyone to know how bad he made me feel. I met a nice guy when I went to florida & realized i didn't need someone like this to treat me bad the rest of my life, i could do better & deserved better. You deserve the same, we all do. Stay strong.

[Janet]

Originally Posted by Ponyup

I was gonna say a similar thing. He's not crying because he's sad, he's crying because he got caught & the woman he thought he could walk all over finally got wise & stood up to him. Do not answer your phone. I would turn my phone off or change the number & give others another way to contact me. I dated a manipulative man in high school. I know how you feel. He cheated on me & used very personal things I had told him to get me upset so I would come home from college to see him. I lost 15lbs my freshman year at college (this was something i didn't need to do). My roommate used to find me hiding in my closet crying because i didn't want anyone to know how bad he made me feel. I met a nice guy when I went to florida & realized i didn't need someone like this to treat me bad the rest of my life, i could do better & deserved better. You deserve the same, we all do. Stay strong.

[Chandra Amaya]

Originally Posted by DianaB

Traci, are you lost? I'm not her Mom. I was just giving advice.

No I was using your quote & saying I agree then going on to say more to her.