Direction Please

[pearl]

wish they made electronic doors and windows like doggie doors, only unlocked by those wearing a collar. and you don't give the kid a collar.

[pope1982]

I don't disagree with spankings, but I think at the age she is at, and with her acting out, it would only exacerbate the situation and backfire possibly make more trouble for you.

What are the consequences when she waltzes in the door?

Let her think she has accomplished sneaking out, play bad cop... do a stake out. Follow her, embarrass the hell out of her when you drag her young, rebellious behind home. 15 is far to young and ignorant these days trying to pass as grown! Maybe 50 years ago...

Even go as far as to tell her you are driving her to the police station because you are not living like this.

Take everything from her room but the bare essentials. No tv, no music, no phone, no boy. Even go so far as to take away her favorite clothes or shoes if you have to. Make her get a job and increase responsibilities. Make your home a cozy little boot camp

I had a sister who acted out and ran away. I had to sit through family counseling a lot. Some of which she didn't even show up for! I know how frustrating it can be. Hang in there.

I forgot to add, that if you work her really hard........... scrubbing walls and baseboards, mopping floors dusting the attic........she might be to tired to get uo in the night!

[goofywife]

I would never pretend to know the right answer. We went through this with my daughter.

The situation grew as she got older. We decided to take the tough love approach and stuck to our rules for the house. We turned it over to God. We raised her right, brought her up to believe in Jesus. That makes her one of his.

She ended up running away. We didn't have any contact with her for several years, then one day it happened we spoke and worked on our relationship.

Now years later, I have a daughter back, she gave me 2 wonderful grandchildren. When she speaks to teenagers, she tells them, she doesn't know why she did what she did, she tells them she had a great childhood and that they should appreciate thier parents and everything they do for them.

I don't think there is any one answer, each situation and child is different. Good luck.

[DianaB]

Originally Posted by hkw8881

thank you so much for replying to me.the comments are great.i'm trying to do all i can to stop her from doing this.as one lady said she would have beat them with an inch of their life. thats one thing i won't do.so far i have done other things as i said in comments. i tell her that i love her and i want her to help me understand why she is doing this and hope there is something we can do to make changes together

I wasn't telling you to beat your daughter. I was a very strict parent to my children and the punishment for doing something like sneaking out would have been very harsh. My kids have often observed other children's behavior and commented that "We would have never acted like that. Mom would have killed us!" As I said, I was very strict but as my children grew I received many compliments on their behavior. We've never had drug, alcohol, or discipline problems.

[Gina]

I do sympathize with you. I have two children boy 23 , daughter will be 21. Like Diana thank God I never had problems with school , drugs, alcohol, or discipline problems. I to was a strict mom, and wouldn't tolerate answering back etc. to this day my daughter may get mouthy but I put her right in her place.

She never ran away, so I have not been in your shoes. How would I handle it, not very well . I think I would keep her in my room and if she did take off at that young of age, I probably would hit her or pull her hair, sorry sometimes they need that. I would put the fear of God into her. I don't understand with whats going on in the world don't these kids have fear? of whom they may meet up with and the horrible stories that you hear. I would sit and make her read the newspapers and watch the news and show her what can happened if she meets up with the wrong person. Just a suggestion.

thank you all very much for your help. she has'nt be sneaking out for two weeks now.working on the third week.counseling is going well.my daughter and i have been talking alot about her actions and working on solutions.so far so good. we pray and talk alot. every one here has been wonderful.its been great to have a place to vent.

[pearl]

i'm so glad to hear that!!!!! keep up the good work, it would be such a hard thing to deal with.

[DianaB]

Originally Posted by hkw8881

thank you all very much for your help. she has'nt be sneaking out for two weeks now.working on the third week.counseling is going well.my daughter and i have been talking alot about her actions and working on solutions.so far so good. we pray and talk alot. every one here has been wonderful.its been great to have a place to vent.

It's good to hear that things are better. So many times people ask questions but never let us know how things are going. Communication is so important!

[katcarasella]

I'm so glad things are going smoother for you and your daughter.
When my girls were growing up, all I had to do was give them "That Look"
and they'd straighten up. I know it's hard when they reach your daughters age,
sounds like you're on the right track.
Good Luck!