Body Image Flaws And Your Hubby.

[Janet]

Did you find the new thread I started ladies??? If not, then hop to it!!!! Time to be honest with your husbands flaws!!

[Amber_lv]

My hubby is really good about this he doesn't say anything rude to me.

my other half never says anything bad about me, he thinks everythings cute lol even down to my poo lol

Originally Posted by Janet

Did you find the new thread I started ladies??? If not, then hop to it!!!! Time to be honest with your husbands flaws!!

hun can i just ask are you still with your husband? and if so WHY? you could get so much better if my partner said he wanted to divorce me cos id put on weight id pack his bag and call the cab for him.

[Janet]

Originally Posted by sashajade

hun can i just ask are you still with your husband? and if so WHY? you could get so much better if my partner said he wanted to divorce me cos id put on weight id pack his bag and call the cab for him.

Yes, we're still together. Why? who knows, 32 years of marriage 4 years of dating before that. Back when he said that, we had only been married a short time and I was laid off from my job. I ate, so I gained weight. I guess it wasn't what he bargained for. You get past things if you care about someone.

Too many years have passed now, and it just would take so long to explain it all. Don't worry, as years went by, I was able to put him in his place now and again.

[rivermom]

Originally Posted by Janet

Yes, we're still together. Why? who knows, 32 years of marriage 4 years of dating before that. Back when he said that, we had only been married a short time and I was laid off from my job. I ate, so I gained weight. I guess it wasn't what he bargained for. You get past things if you care about someone.

Too many years have passed now, and it just would take so long to explain it all. Don't worry, as years went by, I was able to put him in his place now and again.

I think at times it's so easy for others looking in to say this or that. Only YOU know what you want and what you are satisified with. Janet, you know your life and what you expect out of it. I can respect that. I admit, I too have sat back and thought to myself "gosh, why does Janet tolerate some of the things she does in her marriage?". But I don't live in your shoes.

It's just like a dear friend of mine. She is in a marriage with a man who does nothing but cheat on her...A LOT!! She decides to stay in the marriage for so many reasons. (not financial ones either) I always tell her it's not my place to tell her what she should and shouldn't do, it's her life. All I tell her is I want her to be happy and satisified with her life and her choices. Isn't that what we all want for our ownselves?

My own life I live 99% of the ladies on here would not agree with. But I've made choices for my ownself that I have found peace with. I've made many sacrafices in my life but had to set my priorites as to what was most important. Not saying I don't have regrets...But i did what I felt was best. We all do that.

Life is not perfect, we just do the best we can.

[Janet]

Exactly Sheryl!!! My marriage isn't horrible, it is just that some wouldn't put up with what I have put up with. But then again, maybe no one would want to put up with me either. I'm a perfectionist and that can be a rough life for a mate. Never being able to measure up. That's okay. We all have our limitations.

My first reason for marrying was to get out of my parents house at age 19. Secondly I did love him very much. But in my opinion now....I was still a kid. I really think there should be a law that at age 25 you can marry....LOL

As time went on I found other things I loved about him, great provider, very nice to all my friends...very supportive and a host of other things. The things that drove me away alot, is the everyday things..helping out around the house, fixing things when they need fixed, not waiting until it costs double to get it done, not really caring if he lived in a dump or the nice clean house I keep. Hoarding money for himself, while I would have to put things in lay-away. After all these years, no matter how much discussion was held, these things haven't changed. He always understood and changed for a week or so, but then back to what he did before. When you look at how his family was growing up... it's what he learned. Am I miserable...no, do I want to start over....no. I have other things in my life now, I've grown up since that 19 year old got married. I also, put money back (he doesn't know). You see, I'm not that naive little girl anymore and learned that we can make our own happiness, no one does that for you.

Yes, I still care about him, in love...no, not so much. But who's to say those feelings won't return. For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, all those vows were taken before God and they mean something. I may complain, he may too for that matter, but we're still here, together, still a very good family. It's not so bad, but who's life would I trade it for?? No one that I know of is perfect. And who really knows what goes on behind closed doors. Even the ones we think are perfect, aren't....no matter what they try to lead us to believe.

I'm not married yet so I can't exactly contribute to this, but I do have a story. lol I was dating this guy for about 3 years and somewhere in those 3 years he told me I was chubby and told me that I should lose some weight. I was about 145lbs at the time...that's not over weight OR chubby when you are 5'7. I didn't look chubby, I just ate a lot. I have a high metabolism. Things kinda got rough about that time and a while later we had broken up. I'll never be with someone that says stuff like that. It really hurt my self esteem and it took a while to get over. The current guy I'm dating would never say anything like that. When he heard that story he actually got mad about it. *sigh* i learned my lesson about dating jerks.

my fiance & I call eachother all kinds of names like chubby butt, fatso & even reply to eachothers statements with things like "so, at least I'm not as fat as you" or "so, at least my butt doesn't weigh 100 pounds like yours". But its all in good fun! We honestly eat lunch & dinner together everyday so if I pig out, so does he so to speak. Plus, we work out together. Neither of us is skinny or fat....just right in between. Now, if I ever thought he really meant it....I'd beat him up!

Originally Posted by Janet

Yes, we're still together. Why? who knows, 32 years of marriage 4 years of dating before that. Back when he said that, we had only been married a short time and I was laid off from my job. I ate, so I gained weight. I guess it wasn't what he bargained for. You get past things if you care about someone.

Too many years have passed now, and it just would take so long to explain it all. Don't worry, as years went by, I was able to put him in his place now and again.

im glad you stick up for your self and im glad your content with your life, yes its true you can get over a lot of things if you love someone. maybe its cos im 31 and have a different view on things and what i see as a partnership also the fact that i saw my mum with 2 bad partners and i vowed i would never put up with that and im gone as soon as i see the first warning signs, my mum split from her second partner after 14 years together i saw all bad but she saw some good in him but that was untill she and him split up and she could see what we all saw, she said she wanted a happy life and was looking foward to the future without him but sadly 6 months later she died of cancer aged just 53, so i watched my mum waist her very short life on 2 men that didnt deserve her so maybe im over sencertive on things like this, im sorry if you thought i was putting your husband down i wasnt, you know him not me and im sorry if it upset you.

[Janet]

Originally Posted by sashajade

im glad you stick up for your self and im glad your content with your life, yes its true you can get over a lot of things if you love someone. maybe its cos im 31 and have a different view on things and what i see as a partnership also the fact that i saw my mum with 2 bad partners and i vowed i would never put up with that and im gone as soon as i see the first warning signs, my mum split from her second partner after 14 years together i saw all bad but she saw some good in him but that was untill she and him split up and she could see what we all saw, she said she wanted a happy life and was looking foward to the future without him but sadly 6 months later she died of cancer aged just 53, so i watched my mum waist her very short life on 2 men that didnt deserve her so maybe im over sencertive on things like this, im sorry if you thought i was putting your husband down i wasnt, you know him not me and im sorry if it upset you.

No, No, No, I wasn't upset at all. I think it's great that so many young women, early on will stand up for themselves and not put up with it. I got my backbone later on in the marriage, it's all okay. I'm still a very happy person for the most part. But who's happy all the time? I welcome anyones opinion anytime, so don't ever think I get upset about something like that.

Now if you were a mean woman with a brat of a son that rode my bus...that's another story.....LOLOLOL

[Mandy]

Originally Posted by Janet

Exactly Sheryl!!! My marriage isn't horrible, it is just that some wouldn't put up with what I have put up with. But then again, maybe no one would want to put up with me either. I'm a perfectionist and that can be a rough life for a mate. Never being able to measure up. That's okay. We all have our limitations.

My first reason for marrying was to get out of my parents house at age 19. Secondly I did love him very much. But in my opinion now....I was still a kid. I really think there should be a law that at age 25 you can marry....LOL

As time went on I found other things I loved about him, great provider, very nice to all my friends...very supportive and a host of other things. The things that drove me away alot, is the everyday things..helping out around the house, fixing things when they need fixed, not waiting until it costs double to get it done, not really caring if he lived in a dump or the nice clean house I keep. Hoarding money for himself, while I would have to put things in lay-away. After all these years, no matter how much discussion was held, these things haven't changed. He always understood and changed for a week or so, but then back to what he did before. When you look at how his family was growing up... it's what he learned. Am I miserable...no, do I want to start over....no. I have other things in my life now, I've grown up since that 19 year old got married. I also, put money back (he doesn't know). You see, I'm not that naive little girl anymore and learned that we can make our own happiness, no one does that for you.

Yes, I still care about him, in love...no, not so much. But who's to say those feelings won't return. For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, all those vows were taken before God and they mean something. I may complain, he may too for that matter, but we're still here, together, still a very good family. It's not so bad, but who's life would I trade it for?? No one that I know of is perfect. And who really knows what goes on behind closed doors. Even the ones we think are perfect, aren't....no matter what they try to lead us to believe.

I'm positivly sure you love your hubby, if you didnt you wouldnt be with him anymore.
See, after years of marriage, we don't always have those "butterflies" anymore, but the "inlove" changes to "love" .... every married couple have their ups and downs, now if anyone tells me " they have the perfect marriage" i would either want to take a crash course with them, or i would tell them they talking BS, because no marriage can be absolutly perfect, at times we all disagree with our spouses.

Originally Posted by Janet

No, No, No, I wasn't upset at all. I think it's great that so many young women, early on will stand up for themselves and not put up with it. I got my backbone later on in the marriage, it's all okay. I'm still a very happy person for the most part. But who's happy all the time? I welcome anyones opinion anytime, so don't ever think I get upset about something like that.

Now if you were a mean woman with a brat of a son that rode my bus...that's another story.....LOLOLOL

im glad i didnt upset you lol er nop that wasnt me on the bus but if i see her i will give her a kick up the bum for ya lol

[Janet]

Originally Posted by Mandy

I'm positivly sure you love your hubby, if you didnt you wouldnt be with him anymore.
See, after years of marriage, we don't always have those "butterflies" anymore, but the "inlove" changes to "love" .... every married couple have their ups and downs, now if anyone tells me " they have the perfect marriage" i would either want to take a crash course with them, or i would tell them they talking BS, because no marriage can be absolutly perfect, at times we all disagree with our spouses.

You are such a sweatheart!!!!

[Janet]

Originally Posted by sashajade

im glad i didnt upset you lol er nop that wasnt me on the bus but if i see her i will give her a kick up the bum for ya lol

She's not very tall, so you wouldn't have to kick very high....LOLOL