Classified Ads.....

[DianaB]

These classifieds actually ran in a Minneapolis newspaper - a smile for your day....

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER .
8-years old. Hateful little b*st*rd. Bites!

FREE PUPPIES:
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

FREE PUPPIES..
Mother, AKC German Shepherd.
Father, Super Dog...able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG.
Looks like a rat. Been out a while. Better be a big reward..

COWS: NEVER BRED.
Also one gay bull for sale..

NORDIC TRACK
$300 Hardly used, call Chubby.

GEORGIA PEACHES
California grown - 89 cents/lb.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer $300.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .
Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.

And the best one?:

FOR SALE BY OWNER:
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition - $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, Got married last month. Wife knows everything.