My girl

[judy]

Jessie called me early in the week with the news that she is pregnant. Then she started bleeding Monday, right after she went for a pregnancy test, and bled all day Tuesday. I think her test came back negative, but that kind of got lost in the worry about the bleeding. She took several home tests (she was really late and had blue milk glands). Some were negative and some were positive. I would say that she probably was in a very early pregnancy and that she had an early miscarriage. She is going to the doctor on Monday and we will see.

I didn't know they were trying. They had been, but they stopped a while ago. She had decided that she really couldn't start all over with an infant. My worry is that pregnancy can bring on a flareup of MS. If she was 100% healthy, have 20 kids! I worry about her though, and about her 3 children. They really need her, and an MS flare up, which can lead to terrible physical damage, along with an infant, would be devastating to the family. Mackenzie would really fall apart! But, she is going to keep trying until October. They feel that 6 months is long enough to try, and then it becomes more of a job than a pleasure to try to become pregnant.

My SIL immediately asked me if I'm ready to pitch in and help 100%. I said yes, but was annoyed, as usual, with him. Of course I will help, but I always feel that no matter what I do, there is never enough for him! I am trying to create a life for myself, and unless it is necessary, I will not be around 100% of the time!
It's not like he is away at work all day!

So, between worrying about Jessie's health, and about him expecting me to give all of my time, even if Jessie is perfectly fine, I am very hesitant about loving this idea. Of course, a grandchild is a blessing, so it would also be wonderful.

My response to all of this is "That's wonderful!" That was my response when she told me last time that she had decided not to have another baby, and when they decided to breed the dogs, had 5 litters in one year, bought a snowmobile and a hot tub, etc., etc., etc. I always am supportive when they come up with something. No matter how I really feel, I finds it best to be behind them. Why start an argument? My feelings usually change over time, or I end up not worrying or even caring about a lot of things they do.

I also feel that if Jessie wants another child, God bless her! I want her to have everything that she wants in her life. The fact that she has MS adds to that I think. It really puts a whole new perspective on a lot of things.