So sad right now......

[DIANE W]

I have just managed to get online after a week of hell.

I am so very very sad right now, i dont know what to do with myself, I have always been very close to my Aunt and Uncle (they are really like Mum And Dad to me).

My Aunt died at 9pm last night and my uncle and i were with her in the hospital....it was such a peaceful passing - that i am very grateful for, but we are just shocked beyond belief it has happened.

She has had lots of medical problems in the passed, heart bypass surgery, problem with her kidneys, high blood pressure etc. Well she just got so bad that breathing was more and more difficult for her. We called an ambulance and she was taken to hospital 6 days ago, despite all their wonderful efforts, she just wasnt able to fight to overcome everything that was wrong with her body. Dr's told us kidney, respiratory and heart failure all contributed to her death.

They called us to the hospital yesterday at 3pm, almost immediatly the Dr asked to speak privately to us (I just knew it was bad news), she told us she was very ill and was dying, and that she had hours not days left.

She remained unconscious the whole time and peacefully stopped breathing at 9pm. I just cant take it in, that she has gone for ever. My uncle is sad that he never got to speak to her, he was too ill himself to visit her in the hospital, which he now deeply regrets. I went in every day and then visited him to tell him how she had been after each visit.

We talked to her, but i dont know if she could tell we were there with her, she didnt respond to touch, when i squeezed her hand.

But when she finally stopped breathing, i noticed a tear in the corner of her eye - do you think that means anything at all, or is it a natural occurance on passing?

Her poor husband is so upset too, they have been together for 63 years, she was 78 and he is 82 now. I do take comfort that they had those years of happiness, and it was so unusual, i think to have such a harmonious lovely marriage (they truely never had so much as a crossed word - they were so compatible, and each put the other first all the time).

I am off work now on compassionate leave so i can make all the arrangements, i have made a start, but it is the first time i have had this responsibility myself.

I know it will take time to grieve, but it is so hard to accept.