Oldies but Goodies

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Inside every older person is a younger person -- wondering what the heck happened.
-Cora Harvey Armstrong-


Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut her up with cookies.
(Unknown)


The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
-Helen Hayes (at 73)-


I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.
-Janette Barber-


Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
-Lily Tomlin-


My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first one being -- hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
-Erma Bombeck-


Old age ain't no place for sissies.
-Bette Davis-


A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
-Rhonda Hansome-


The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
-Jane Sellman-


Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows.
-Jennifer Unlimited-


Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
-Charlotte Whitton-


Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
-Caryn Leschen-


I try to take one day at a time -- but sometimes several days attack me at once.
-Jennifer Unlimited-


If you can't be a good example -- then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
-Catherine-


I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb -- and I'm also not blonde.
-Dolly Parton-


If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
-Sue Grafton-


I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
-Roseanne Barr-


When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
-Elayne Boosler-


Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
-Maryon Pearson-


In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.
-Margaret Thatcher-


I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
-Gloria Steinem-


I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house.
-Zsa Zsa Gabor-


Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
-Eleanor Roosevelt-