Here I go again!!

[Janet]

I got on the Biggest Loser website and did one of the analyisis things..anyway...it says my calorie goal should be 1729...sounds like a lot to me...so can you imagine what I was eating....Holy crap!

My BMI should be 24....mine is 42.4 ...absolutely horrible and unhealthy!

My weight should be somewhere between 107.7 and 145.1 well I'm going to have to lose 101 lbs to get to 145...I'm so disgusted with myself...you do the math. How and why did I let this happen???

I have to check out the website, but I think weight watchers meets in town on Thursday nights...so if it does I'm going to check it out tomorrow night.

I started exercising today...but it's going to take me awhile to get going. I walked 3 miles on the treadmill and could not take a real deep breath. I thought I would never get to 3 miles. I can walk farther on the road, but with windchill at -17...it can wait. I'll keep trying the treadmill and do it a couple times a day.

I did lift some weights...arms to my side and lifted them to shoulder height. Did 10 of those and 10 of the ones where I lifted them up and over my head. Used my sons exercise ball and did 5 push ups and 5 stomach crunches and then I was done.

I put on my stretch shorts (guess they are like bicycle shorts) and a tank top and then sat on the side of the bed to put my shoes on. I almost literally threw up and then cried. I saw myself in the mirror and it was horrible.

So, I need to do something about it or else I'm worried that I will really die. I have high blood pressure the way it is..

I don't know why I posted all this..it's kind of like admitting I'm a failure...I just needed to get this out there so I can somehow be held accountable.