blahs...

im sorry i hate venting and telling you guys all my problems.. but i have no one else to tell..

so my mom has accepted the fact that im on meds for post partum blues.. but still pushes the issue about me losing weight..

i just turned 21 on the 22nd and it was.. bleh..

im not sure if my disability will be extended if they will accept it.. if they don't im basically screwed because i won't be able to pay for my car, car insurance, student loan.. and other crap.. and i hate having to ask my boyfriend for his hard earned money, cause its not enough for both of our bills.. its enough for our daughter..

i can't go back to work yet, because im still in a lot of pain sometimes.. and the job i was going to go back to, i really don't want to, because my boss was a complete bitch when I was pregnant.. so i don't want to know how she'll treat me when im not..

and October is around the corner and bills are needed to be payed.. so i dont know what to do.. Tianna is only 2 1/2 months, and thats too early for me to go back to work.. i haven't really even bonded with her as much as i'd like.. because of her stay in the NICU and stuff..

life is just so unfair.. i've been trying to look for a job at a doctors office or something that's not so hectic as the nursing homes i've worked at.. they tend to work me like a dog because i'm young and think i can do everything while the others get to sit back and relax and let me or rather force me to do everything...

im scared to lose my car or go into bankcruptcy so young.. im just sooo stressed out... just worrying about our financial situation.. really bums me out..

i dont know what else to do.. my friend that was supposed to help me look for a job, ended up never doing it.. and when i ask her or call her, she's too busy or just ignores my calls.. but of course when she needs something she's always there to ask me with no shame.. ughhh i hate this..

what am i to do?