Divorces

[judy]

Originally Posted by blowry

I agree....I was married to a local man/boy, for 19 years (was with him for 4 before we married). Where we were from the same town people knew both of us. He was an abusive alcoholic and I felt after 19 yrs it was time for me to leave. My girls were 18 yrs and 14 yrs old. It was very very hard on them. Even though I was the one that wanted to divorce, it was the hardest thing I had ever done..I just couldn't take it anymore. Of course I didn't go around telling people what went on in my house and, when I finally asked him to leave my "friends" (I use that term ldoo oosely) were not there for me. Some were but, most of them walked away from me. A really "good friend's" (I thought I had) husband wouldn't let her visit me or even talk to me on the phone..... When you go through something like this you find out who your true friends are and....they aren't always who you think.

I know what you mean when you say "it was the hardest thing I had ever done."

I also asked him to leave and it broke my heart to do that to him. My first ex left me and it was just easier. It wasn't easy, just easier.

I lost a lot of friends like you Val and Brenda. I felt that some of the females who I thought were my friends did not want their husbands near me. I was that lonely, vulnerable, divorced woman who would (in their minds) go with anyone out of desperation. Yeah, like that would ever happen! Although, quite a few of the husbands in our group did come to visit me without their wives along. Some men are pigs.

You do find out the true nature of people at a time like that.

I do, however, find that most of my married friends are in very good marriages now. I think you have something there Diana. I don't think it really pertains to divorce only, but if you surround yourself with positive people, you will also be a positive person and vice versa.