Mamograms.....

[DianaB]

It's been a while since I've had a mamogram so the new doctor wanted me to get that taken care of so she would have the results when I come back in in a couple of weeks. It made me think of a joke that I'm hoping to find but in the meantime I've come across a few others. Enjoy.........

If you need a good laugh, get ready because this one will do it for you!
> POWER OUTAGE DURING A MAMMOGRAM
>
> I actually kept my mammogram appointment. I was met with, 'Hi! I'm Belinda!' This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, 'All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown.
>
> Everything clear?
>
> I'm thinking, 'Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science.'
>
> Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.
>
> With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, 'Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toe s and lean in a tad so we can get everything?'
>
> Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off?
>
> My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other boob wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of s quare glass) when we heard, then felt, a zap! Complete darkness and the power went off!
>
> 'Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag.' Belinda headed for the door.
>
> 'Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?' I shouted.
>
> Belinda kept going and said, 'Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back.'
>
> Before I could shout 'NOOOO!' she disappeared.
>
> And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me, half-naked and part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life, and the other part smashed between glass!
>
> After exchanging polite 'Hi, how's it going' type greetings, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.
>
> Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible 'Uh, yes, yes I did thanks.'
>
> 'You bet, take care' Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.
>
> Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, 'Oh I am sooo sorry!' The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?'
>
> And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps..
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