i think i need to put some fire under his... hiney :)

[Janet]

Originally Posted by RLC12345678

I definately think that you should back off being his "wife." Most men feel why should they buy the cow when they get the milk for free? I think backing off A LOT would do a lot of good. I know you don't want to back off and it will be hard, but that is the only way you are going to know whether this man has the same long-term feelings about you as you do for him. If you are so "close," do you not think that you could talk to him about his feelings about marriage? Maybe tell him that you are going to back off for awhile and let him think about the future and about whether he wants to be with you forever or not. Tell him that you want to be with him, but you need to know what he is thinking. Tell him that you aren't trying to freak him out or anything. But he needs something to look forward to by marrying you. I know most people these days don't save sex for marriage, and that is fine, to each her own, but there has to be SOMETHING that will entice him to get married. Otherwise, he will never want to. And I don't blame him...why should he?? He is already getting all the benefits of being married without having the commitment.

I wish you the best of luck in the situation. One of the keys to a successful relationship/marriage is communication. You need to find a way to successfully and openly communicate with your boyfriend and you both should discuss this.

Good advice. After two years of being together...you should really feel comfortable being able to talk about this with him. I made that mistake and believe me...you want to have the communication. I will offer the suggestion that when you talk with him about your feelings....LISTEN and WATCH his body language. It will tell you what you want to know. If you are not getting the reaction you expected after all this time....then you seriously need to look your relationship staight in the eye and figure out if this is what you really and truly want.


Oh and glad you're here...great women with great advice...just pick and choose what will work for you.