Sometimes I don't know him

[Lindsey]

Scott has been breaking my heart lately, because I'm seeing sides of him I didn't know were there.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a pretty compassionate person, and I will go out of my way to help anyone in need. I donate money to charities and organizations and donate my time to raise money for causes such as the cancer society by taking part in Relay for Life and any fundraising activity my team comes up with. When people come door-to-door for donations, I always give.

Last week, Scott and I went to a movie. He paid. When the cashier asked if he would donate an extra dollar to go to Haiti, he said no. I was shocked and asked why and he said "I donated the last time I bought something" ... okay, he hadn't bought anything since the earthquake, and even if he had, what's another DOLLAR?

Last night I was telling him how the Canadian government is matching all donations from Canadian citizens, and how great that was. He kind of just passed it off and didn't say much. This morning I asked him if he wanted me to add some money onto my donation from him. He said no. I asked why and he said "Because I choose not to, okay?!"

I am flabbergasted at how he can just turn a blind eye to all the devastation, the ruined lives, the poorest people in the world who have now lost families, homes, everything they had. How can a human being NOT look at that and feel the need to give anything extra they have. I understand when people don't have the money to donate, but he DOES... he has much more at his disposal than I do.

It really just makes me want to cry thinking about it. I told him it bothers me because what happens when we get married and have a joint account and he won't let me give money to the organizations I want to donate to... he said "We'll just keep separate accounts and you can do what you want with the money you make"... So basically if I decide to stay at home to raise my children, every organization I support will lose my donations.

It's making me rethink the person I thought he was.