Cabin fever

[judy]

I definitely have cabin fever! It finally stopped snowing, and was nice for a while. I got out and really enjoyed just being outside. Yesterday, I was going to go to Kingston to look for some pictures for my house at Home Goods. It was pouring, with flood warnings, so I stayed home.

I was so bored, and now I can see that I am depressed. I'm going out today, so hopefully, that will go away.

I had posted a while ago that I was going to see a psychologist because I was just not happy. I wanted to get off of one of my anti depressants, and to decide what I wanted to fill my life up. I want friends, and wanted to see if I really want a man in my life.

I have been going for 3 visits now, and really like him a lot. He thinks I am really emotionally healthy. Imagine that! I do not know when that happened!!!! He thinks that I am one of those people who likes to be alone a lot, and that that is fine. I have been making a couple of friends slowly, mostly from my writing group. Ev and I are going to go to some antique bookstores nearby, and they keep inviting me to join their non-fiction book club. I don't like non-fiction, but they don't seem all that fussy about whether you really read the book that carefully.

I decided that as far as a man goes, I'll decide when I try it out! I might really enjoy a man around, or I might not. Probably, a bit of both!

I also tabled getting off that anti depressant for now. I feel fine, and it is very hard to get off of this particular one. If I had known that, I would have asked for a different kind! Don't take Effexor! That is the addictive one. I'll decide about that later on. I will have to really plan it out and be willing to feel somewhat bad for a while. I can do it, but I don't want to start right now. It's a lot of work.

So, he says that I am doing what I need to do, cope very well, am emotionally very mature and healthy, and wishes that all of his patients were so healthy. He also feels that I had that seasonal affective disorder, from the long winter since I cheered up so much when the weather changed.

Can you imagine? Who knew?