Mother-Daughter relationships

[Lindsey]

How close are you to your mom?
For me, it's not close at all. I hate to say this, but in my whole life I don't remember either of my parents giving me a hug once. When I was a teenager I pulled away pretty bad because my mom was always accusing me of being promiscuous and not doing enough schoolwork, and not having good enough grades even though I was always on the honor roll. When I actually did have sex for the first time, after dating the guy for two years, I told her and she was very surprised. But she wasted no time telling me I better not be pregnant and she would make me have an abortion if I was.
When I was 18 I was raped, and I never told her. As a result I started to cut myself and she found me one night in the bathroom after cutting a wrist with a razorblade. I didn't get a hug. I got told not to tell anyone what happened, and to never do it again.
I'm not in the profession she wants me to be in, and my grades in college aren't what she wants them to be. She has something bad to say about every guy I've dated and every friend I've ever had, even if it's just to say they're fat. Tonight she called me to let me know this is NOT the time to be getting sick when I have finals to write and I should go to school even though I'm sick, and why are my projects not done yet?
I am so jealous of my friends who are super close to their moms and can tell them anything. I envy the ones who have crossed the line from being a little kid to being a friend.