Alone tonite & missing my husband

[khardy57]

Last year when Mark died in October, the holidays seemed to pass by in a blur. Thanksgiving was OK yesterday until everyone left and I've been really down since. Tonight, I just want to sit and cry and I don't have time for that. I need to clean house and think about getting out my Christmas decorations tomorrow.

I just don't have the heart to do any of those things. It all feels so empty.

I don't know if I can do this. I've kept myself busy since he died and haven't really given myself time to just be alone because I knew I'd sit and dwell on it. Well, that time has come and ya'll, I'm not making it.

I feel like I don't have a reason to BE. Mark always encouraged me in anything I wanted to do. He made me feel like I was the most important person in the world, the smartest, the prettiest, the best. I had it all and now it's gone and I'm lost.............I can't find myself....................