Family issues

[Lindsey]

I feel like my family is being torn apart and I am angry and upset.

I know my brother's fiance doesn't like me. She doesn't keep it a secret. She ignores me if I'm in the same room as her, even if I say hello, she turns her head. They will spend weekends with my parents, and she will not say one word to my mom. She really doesn't like us both. I have never known why, but it's a big deal to her I guess.

I had a bachelorette party for my cousin on the weekend, and two of my other cousins drove down for it as well. During the night when the rest of the group was up dancing, I got some time to catch up and have good conversations with those two cousins. One of them and her husband are very close with my brother and his fiance. Her husband is my brother's best man for his wedding. They lived with them for a short time when they were between cities (she moved to a new city for work, and he finished up the summer working here before starting school in the new city, and they couldn't afford rent in two places). So anyway, at the start of the night, this cousin was making comments about them, asking if I like my brother's fiance. I didn't say much, other than I don't have any problems with her! But as the night went on, it became pretty clear that my cousin does not like her at all either.

She told me that she gave her a fair chance from the beginning, but she is just too much to handle. Her favorite things to talk about are me and my mom and how we are both huge bitches and are out to make her life terrible. My cousin said to me, "It's like she didn't realize who she was talking to - I've known you guys my whole life and you have never been anything but nice! I was ready to walk out!" But she will go on and on to anyone who will listen, obviously even if they are my family. She told my cousin that she hates me because I started it all by being mean to her from the moment we met. My jaw hit the floor! I have never been anything but nice to her! Even if I don't like someone, I CAN'T be mean, it's not in me to act like that.

I am just really hurt by it all. I knew she probably was talking about me, but now that I know for sure, it is hard to ignore. My brother told my cousin's husband, and he has told Scott before too, that he misses me and our family, and wishes we could have a relationship again, but we just can't. It ruins his life to talk to me or our mom, because his fiance doesn't allow it and gets really upset if she knows he has talked to us. And anytime he has tried to stand up for us she packs up her things, and the girls' things, and threatens to leave. Those girls are my brother's life, and that has to be the reason he is sticking around. He has no rights to them if she were to leave.

I don't want to bring any of this up to my brother because it will make his life harder to know that it's upsetting me so much. So I guess I just have to ignore and pretend it's all good and put on a happy face. I was fine on Saturday night but I let it really sink in on our way home yesterday and I cried for most of the 2 hour drive. I don't have a thick skin to begin with, and it hurts me to the core to know someone not only doesn't like me, but is spreading lies about me to my own family.