I have to Vent!!

ok.. so everyone knows i have a 2 month old baby..

and im not sure if you all know everything that ive been through.. from my pregnancy being extremely hard for me.. and having to be in the hospital on bedrest for what felt like forever..

then when my baby came out, i didnt even get to bond with her or touch her cause she had to go straight to the NICU.. and then of course afterwards she had to have surgery for her bilateral inguinal hernias..

and then now.. i have to deal with my mom thinking im freaking fat and i need to lose weight.. sheesh.. its been only 2 months and she's already all up on me about i need to lose weight.. im soooo fat that its ugly.. and that when she had her first child she lost weight because she refused to eat.. well um that's not me..

and then my mother in law being too overbearing.. having no privacy in my room with my things.. and then her telling me what to do with my child and how to do it and why.. or always questioning me for every little thing i do.. and then her yellling at me for telling her that my daughters pediatrician got mad at me for her scrubbing my daughters tongue trying to get the thrush off..

so i went to my doctors appt today and well i guess i have the post partum blues.. and she put me on prozac.. and well i told my mom.. and she tells me "gosh, everything is wrong with you, your the only one i know thats taken so many medications or everything is wrong with you".. oh not to mention the whole.. I'm fat thing again.. when i told her how hard i was working out at the gym and i lost a pound in a few days.. she says.. well when i had your brother i lost weight so fast.. maybe you should stop eating.. lovely aint it? ..

i just LOVE how freakin supportive my family is (NOT).. i feel like i have no one.. i hate it.. i feel so low.. ugly.. hated.. not wanted.. i feel so alone.. i hate it..

this is the only thing close to making me feel just a bit better.. i wish i had my own house.. i wouldn't have to deal with any of their bulldoody..

my fiance/boyfriend is supportive, but didn't understand why i'm depressed.. gee i wonder? but i explained it to him and finally he's gettin it..

why is my mom such a bi7*^?