Worried... :(

[Chandra Amaya]

I know I haven't been here at all in awhile but thank you all so much for your thoughts & concerns for our family. Papaw (like Angie mentioned) did protect all of us at times by taking the heat off of us and directing the attention to himself. I didn't see him even as much as Angie did. I always worried that my four kids would hurt more than help. His nerves were very bad which contributed to his health problems. Angie & I were working on a scrapbook for him which is nowhere near finished. I'm hoping to get it finished before the funeral and put it in the casket with him. I think it would have meant so much to him, but I'm not sure we can get it done in time. If we don't I still want to complete it but he is being put in a mosoleum (sp?) & I'm not sure what to do with it. The main things that bother me now are that I wasn't here all week while he got worse, I didn't call on father's day. I had planned on doing a dinner and giving him the scrapbook, but now its too late. I should have called. also, how my brothers, sisters & Mom really are. and lastly, if he was in pain or if it happened quickly. I worry because he was alone at home with Mamaw. Our brother was out. She is very hard of hearing. He could have screamed & she wouldn't have heard him. Again thank you all for a place we can ley emotions out & for your thoughts of our family.