Why women are happier...

[katepoet]

From the "why men are happier" thread - help me convert these please!!

Women Are Just Happier People

You last name can stay put or you can change it to whatever you want, even Beautiful, and it?s legal.

The garage is all his or you can take it over and convert it into a studio.

Wedding plans are the reward for years of dreaming.

Chocolate is actually good for you.

You can be President ? look at HC!

You can be pregnant. What more is there to say?

You can wear a tie-dyed T-shirt to a water park and still have your honey?s eyes pop out of his head.

You can wear any shirt without sweat stains in the armpits, down the chest and the back.

You can take your car to a woman mechanic or become one or imagine one who?s really yummy in some fantasy...

The world is not your urinal ? thank heavens.

When have to use the restroom, your girlfriend will go with you and at least you can laugh about it together.

Righty, tighty, lefty, loosy makes you laugh when you tighten a nut and bolt.

Same work ? more women owning businesses today then ever so while you still have some of the world to fight for equality in work, it?s a heck of a lot better than it has ever been before.

Wrinkles add character and turn you into everyone?s favorite wise woman.

Graying hair adds attraction. It?s true that people in NYC pay to have their hair dyes salt and pepper like mine!

Wedding dress~$5000 or you can make your own or wear pants or whatever you want today.

Tux rental~$100. But those rental shoes hurt his feet ? for once!

Menstare at your chest when you're talking to them which sucks. But it's a good way to tell who is not worth your time.

The occasional well-rendered belch is almost never expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet if you choose to wear practical shoes, and men just don?t look sexy in pumps the way you do.

Moods vary and add texture to your life.

Phone conversations with headsets give you the company of girlfriends while you are each cleaning your fridge or cooking dinner.

You know stuff about children, women, men and the way the universe runs on spirituality.

A five-day vacation is when you don?t have to cook, do dishes or run to the office.

You can open all your own jars with that nifty tool from the home store ? so you use leverage and the laws of physics ? who knew you were so smart!?


Here are the ones I haven't gotten to, plus I bet you can do better on the ones I have done:

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.