My Daughter Jessica called me!!!

[judy]

I finally am calm enough to write this down. I had a voicemail message on my cell phone from this morning. It was my daughter Jessica! She said Hi, I hope you don't mind me calling (as if!), that she missed me, and that she felt like this was enough already and it's time to put everything behind us and just get on without apologizing and going back and forth. She said time is too short and life is too precious to waste and that she just wanted a relationship with me and for the kids to have a relationship with me.

She knew about the flowers I sent on Sept. 11th and about the nasty phone calls her husband had made to me. She said that that was going to stop and they had been talking and both felt that enough was enough.

She said she had no idea how I felt about this and left her number if I was interested in calling her back.

She sounded good, which is wonderful. She didn't sound sick at all.

I am ecstatic.

I don't trust her husband in the least. It wasn't more than 6 or 7 weeks ago that I was getting his nasty messages, and I surely don't believe that he wants me in their lives. At this point, I have to get across to her that as long ad she will back me up and take my side with him, this can work. Unfortunately, we're not going to be one big happy family. I've tried everything with him. I even went to Alanon for 2 years to learn how to deal with him. He's a real mean alcoholic who won't allow anyone to get close to him and certainly not to love him.

I'm praying that I can get the fact to her as nicely as possible that she has to back me up where he's concerned, and then I think it will work out fine.

The funny thing is that I realized when I got the call that part of me has been waiting for that call. You know the bond between mother and child can be so strong sometimes.

I can put whatever she has done behind me. Him too, but I just don't trust him to do the same. He's 40 now and just isn't about to stop his abusive ways. I'm praying that she can be strong enough to not allow him to treat me badly. In the past, he would treat me terribly and after a few years it became somehow my fault in both their minds. I became the scapegoat.

I pray she has gotten past that for all of our sakes. I really need her in my life and my grandchildren too.

I've been telling God lately that enough is enough. There's no more for me to learn from this and it's time for me to have her back in my life already!

I'm not making that much sense here, as I re-read this, but I think you can get the gist.