From the classic classifieds

[Tink]

* Great Dames for sale.
* Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.
* Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
* For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
* Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
* Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.
* A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.
* Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
* If you think You've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain, and Chopin.
* Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.
* Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast
* Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.
* Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
* Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.
* Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.
* Now is your chance to have your ears pierced. Get an extra pair to take home.
* For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.
* Sytle - our name says it all
* Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.
* For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepherd and an Alaskan Hussy.
* We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
* Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.