Dead Duck

[Dobie]

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinarian.
As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out
his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly
and said, "I'm so sorry, your pet has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the vet said, "I'm sure. The duck is dead."
"How can you be so sure", she protested. "I mean, you
haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might
just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the
room. He returned a few moments later with a black
Labrador Retriever.
As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog
stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the
examination table and sniffed the duck from top to
bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and
shook his head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out and returned a
few moments later with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped
up on the table and also sniffed the bird from its
beak to its tail and back again. The cat sat back on
its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, jumped
down and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but
as I said, this is, most definitely, 100% certifiably,
a dead duck." Then the vet turned to his computer
terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he
handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.
"$150!" she cried. "$150 just to tell me my duck is
dead?!" The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken
my word for it, the bill would have been $20. But what
with the Lab Report and the Cat
Scan, it all adds up."