My sweet Keller boy

[Shada]

My sweet Keller boy ~ 1991/Nov. 17th 2008

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Keller is now running with all his strength and glory.His eyes are alert once more. He is prancing like the King he is... and waiting for me until we can be together again. Keller is my forever angel, my protector, my loyal companion these past 17 years.. I just pray I did the right thing for my Keller boy.

Seventeen years old Keller was, with the soul of a young dog, but sadly his body was giving out. Losing strength in his back legs.. losing the spark in his eyes. Started having seizures in September.

Sunday night around midnight he had another seizure.
He was laying right beside me. At first I thought he had a scratch bothering him he couldn't reach... then full blown seizure. It was horrible. After it was over, I stayed with him for a good hour until he was resting well and sleeping. I went to bed around 1:00 am. He was on his bed in the living room. Sleeping peacefully, or so I thought. At 3:00 am I woke up, heard him walking around, Then nothing. I got up to check on him and could not find him. OMG, he had fallen down the basement stairs! Never would I have believed that could happen, since I have lived in this house he has always 'backed up' to get out of the kitchen.. always had a fear of being too near the stairs. Wouldn't turn his back on it. Then he falls down those same stairs he was so terrified of. The fall didn't seem to hurt him... thank God, other than the obvious shock of falling down the stairs.

When I adopted Keller all those years ago, I promised to protect him. To not let him suffer. To always put him first. I tried to do that Monday for him. I took him to the vet for his final ride.. I held him as he took his final breath.

How do you know? How do you know what you are doing is the right thing?? I feel like I gave up on my Keller boy. Yet I know I gave him the peace he deserved.. his eyes told me months ago he was ready..how I wish I could see the old Keller, eyes alert and body active...

Now I am sitting here just a few short days since he is gone.. and I can't believe he is gone. I can still smell him. His fur balls are still on my floor. I know I will wake up during the night to listen to him walking around... pacing and pacing... I look around and can't believe he is not still here...right there close as always and being my Keller boy.

How I already miss him. What a special dog he was. Never will I forget the bond we shared.. and I do believe, I know, that he is still with me, still watching over me, and I will reunite with my Keller.. along with the new friends he has met who are also waiting for me, the old friends he was fortunate to share his life with, and for the future friends he will meet until our journey is complete.

Please say a prayer for Keller. And for me that I will find peace and acceptance for what I did.