The last couple of weeks....

[Lindsey]

I haven't been around in awhile! Things have been so hectic here since I got back from New York!
As I mentioned before, I was seeing a really nice guy from work. I got back from NYC and things were still good. Then after that weekend all of a sudden he started pulling away and I felt something going weird and he finally said he thinks we need to take a step back until he figures out some stuff in his own life. And we were moving too fast and he wasn't ready to just jump right into something, but he wanted us to hang out as friends and build up slowly to where we could be in a relationship... we went bowling that night with my roommate and it felt so awkward to not get a hug good-bye or anything.. later that night I told him I felt weird and didn't understand so he came over and we talked until 5 am.... and not just about the relationship stuff but about everything in our lives! And I kind of understood... he jumped headfirst into his last relationship before knowing the girl well, and after 4 years it ended badly. He doesn't want to do the same this time. So I said okay, that was fine, we'll get to know each other and take things slowly.
Starting the next day, we had to work some crazy hours. A report was due this past monday so we worked until 2:30 am Thursday morning, 3:00 am Friday morning, 9:30 Friday night (so I had time to go out with a friend that night!), and then Saturday afternoon until 5.
We were still going to the Christmas party together. He picked me up and he looked SO GOOD. But I was determined to give him his space, we were just friends. We laughed and joked all night long... I left him in our hall (in a fancy hotel) to go crash a wedding dance in another hall with some other ladies from work By about 1 am we were all getting ready to leave but walked past another party so we all went in and took over the dance floor hahaha and he was having a good time too, he came out and danced with all of us girls We weren't ready to go home yet but everyone else was leaving, so he talked to some of his friends, and we went to my favorite bar where they were all hanging out. We were on the dance floor talking to them and we danced a little bit. And just being that close to him made me miss it sooo much... but he needed his space, I knew that. After the bar closed we headed to his friend's house and played some pool, where he beat me almost every time! And then since we were close to his house we went back there to watch stand-up comedy for a few hours... I asked if he would mind me just sleeping there instead of him driving across the city. He gave me some pj's to wear and we were laying in bed face-to-face, just inches from each other but not touching.... and we talked and he just poured his whole life out to me and his feelings he never talks about... and we got so much closer. We talked until 8 in the morning, and he thanked me for giving him such a great night and I told him that even if the rest of the relationship stops, I'm so glad to have that connection with him.
Soooo we rolled into work on Sunday at about 3 in the afternoon. We ended up staying until 4:30 am to get the report finished. We could have left sooner but we both kept coming up with excuses to stay.... I was worried that we would both just go home and I guess I kind of felt like this is my last chance... we were both being a little flirty and I was just having a great time giggling with him all night. He finally drove me home and I asked if he'd like to come in because I wasn't going to fall asleep anyway. He said he'd love to. And again, we talked and talked and talked.... He came to bed and told me that the night before he was tossing and turning all night because he kept wanting to cuddle with me but not knowing if he should. I told him it was okay if he wanted to, and was ready to. But we fell asleep with Layla in between us. The next day we woke up at noon and decided we had earned a day off lol.... and he cuddled me. And we cuddled for a few hours and then we kissed. And then we were like "That was too long away from this"
I like him so much. On Saturday someone said to us "I can't believe you guys are still getting along after spending so many stressful hours together!" just because of the work... having no idea that almost every night we still wanted to be around each other enough to hang out AFTER our crazy work hours. And I never once stopped smiling.
He's leaving today to go to the mountains to snowboard for a few days. I will see him on the 23rd on our last day of work, and we're both leaving early to go back to our hometowns. I won't see him again until after New Years. I'm a bit worried that he won't even miss me, or he'll just get over me or something because we'll be apart for a long time. But maybe it's normal to feel that way. I just feel like I found something good and I'm scared to lose it.