So frustrated with this wedding!

[Lindsey]

As most of you know, I'm my best friend's MOH. Our friend Jeni is another bridesmaid. We have all known for over a year that we are going to be in this wedding, and it will cost us time and money. Jeni was supposed to go to Red Deer the same weekend Scott and I just went, so that we could all help out with guest favors. Jeni decided instead to stay home and party. I know my friend was upset about it, but she didn't say too much.
I have booked everything back home for her bridal shower. Since most of her friends live around Edmonton (she moved there right after high school), she said she wanted her bachelorette party to be there. Most of her friends won't be coming to our hometown for the shower, so at least they can take part in something by having a party in Edmonton. I have no problem with that. I have budgeted for that. Jeni just told me she can't do the Edmonton thing so we should just do her bachelorette party in our hometown on the same weekend as the shower. She said she can't afford to go to Edmonton, after I know she has spent money on drinking and partying every weekend since Christmas, plus she just bought a purebred pit bull puppy! That can't be cheap. Where are her priorities?
Oh and the fourth bridesmaid is MIA. I have called her constantly, and finally told my friend I have been unable to get ahold of her, so my friend gave me her home number to leave a message on voicemail. I have left messages and have not heard back, and I have been trying to get ahold of her for over a month already.
I am at work right now and just shaking because I am SO MAD at everyone involved. The fiance's sister is good, I guess her and I will be doing all the work. I think I should still do the right thing and try to organize a bachelorette party in Edmonton, even if only half of the bridal party shows up. I want to be able to ask my friend what she wants to do, but I know I shouldn't be putting stress on her about this so I've kept it to myself. How much is appropriate to tell her?